Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! I'm very new to this site and am hoping someone might be able to help me or point me in the right direction as I'm at my wit's end!!
I will try and keep it short, but am concerned regarding my 4 year old son. Basically, from day 1 when he was born he was different. He use to scream all the time, never slept and was a very difficult baby. He suffered badly with bronchilitis and up until the age of about 2 had regular bouts of this, often ending up in hospital on oxygen. When he reached the age of two, he was not talking or even babbling. This went on and we were referred to a speech therapist who tried to bring him on. After a few months he still wasn't making much progress so I fought long and hard with the NHS to have his hearing checked. Sure enough he had glue ear in both ears. After again fighting with the NHS to do surgery on him to have grommets fitted - a year later he had them fitted. My son sees a ped often who regularly checks and assesses him. As well as the glue ear and speech delay (which has not come on any more since having grommets) Ben has also got other issues. He is behind in development and we have recently been told he has low muscle tone and will need to have physio. On top of this, he displays some other behaviours. He is very ridged with routine and hates any change to his day. He's obsessed with the same toys and will play with them by himself for hours, watches the same videos over and over and of late his behaviour is becoming a big problem. the only way I can describe it is like a switch goes off in him and the rage that comes from him is unreal. Family outings are becoming a problem as if he throws a fit, that's the day ruined as we have to leave. Things we have done with him or taken him to 100 times before can all of a sudden be an issue and we don't know why. He is also sensitive to sounds and will often put his hands over his ears.
The reason why I am confused is that the ped mentioned autism to us, but dismissed it as Ben is such a loving and caring child at home. He does however blank people and will often close his eyes and pretend to be asleep if anyone talks to him. He's not interested in having friends and if I have ever had any home, he will play with them for about half an hour and then will take himself off and play by himself and not want to be bothered. However with his parents he is the most affectionate child I know. He loves to be kissed, cuddled and generally loved on, almost excessively. Our ped said he was confused by him as he said there is def something not right, but couldn't say what. He's had genetics tests done which are all clear, so we have now been left in limbo not knowing what to do. Does anyone think I should get him tested for autism, or do you think I'm just looking to much into it?! Any info would be much appreciated. Thank you xx
Have you seen this course?
http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/residential-community/family-support/early-intervention/earlybird.aspx
Thank you. He's having speech therapy at the moment and that started about a year ago whilst he was in pre-school. He's literally just started mainstream school and has been separated from his brothers school and he went there not knowing anyone, which he has really struggled with and all the change.
I know autism is not all bad. My friend has an elder boy who autistic and he's the most friendly, loving polite boy I know. He's just set off to go to university and is thriving. It's just I want to help him best I can. Am really interested in the courses if he is diagnosed as I never know if we are parenting correctly. We are far more lenient with him than our eldest and we don't push him to do things he doesn't want to do, but am not sure if this is right and I'm just turning him into a brat!!! X
Speech and Language Therapy (aka SALT) is used in some cases. This can start pre-school.
It is important for schools and health worker to be aware so that they can put in place an appropriate "education, health and care plan" (EHCP) . He may need extra help in the classroom, teachers may well need to modify their approach in setting tasks, rewarding behaviour and maintaining discipline. For some children, it is better to send them to a specialist school where the staff-student ratio is better and where the environment is more tailored to their needs. Other children thrive in mainstream schools if the school has the right enviuronment and atmosphere for someone on the spectrum.
Some people with ASD also qualify for benefits to help them live normal lives - some parents need this to pay for extra help at home etc. http://www.autism.org.uk/benefitsforparents
If he is on the spectrum then there is lots for you to read and learn about how to improve his environment. There are courses, as I understand it, for parents of newly diagnosed children where they teach the best methods for encouraging development and working "with the grain" of the child.
There is lots of useful stuff on this site - do be aware that people come to the discussion forums when they have problems and this may give a biased view of the world of how autism is a terrible thing. The people who have worked it out and cracked the code don't tend to come here as they are getting on with their lives.
Thank you all for replying. I dont care what he has and wouldn't change him for the world, but just want to get help (if he needs it) as early as possible for him. I do worry about him possibly being diagnosed and all the prejudice that comes with it. If he is diagnosed with autism, what actually happens after that?! What sort of help and treatment do they receive? Thank you all again xx
He does sound as though he could be on the autistic spectrum. He may also have other issues that might lead to similar behaviours. It is likely to need a autism specialist to make a reliable diagnosis - it is not uncommon for paed's to be unable to tell the difference (autism isn't easy to diagnose and paeds are only human and don't know everything!). Getting a diagnosis won't lead to a cure but should lead to extra help.
The only problem with getting a diagnosis can be that people (you, family, other people and even himself) will treat him differently if he has a label. It sounds as though you will benefit from getting a diagnosis so I would pursue this if I were you.
anytime
I guess there's no harm in having him tested. I'm just concerned that he may be given a wrong diagnosis just because he doesn't fit neatly into the typical boxes. Thanks for responding :)