Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a mum of two, 14 year old boy with asperger and a 12 year old boy with stress!
I am new to this ... expressing feeling and thoughts, I've never been on face book.
Most people, even though I'm lucky to very sympathetic friends, they don't really understand - although, they have children and every parent understands what it's like to worry.
(I nearly wrote 'even with perfect children' - but everyone has perfect children - it's just the world around and being able understand them, that's the difference isn't it?)
I know I need others who 'get' the problems without the added questions like: 'why doesn't he talk to the teachers at school?', 'why does he refuse to have his hair cut?', 'why doesn't he leave the house?' - HE JUST DOESN'T!! Worst of all, the looks like you're a soft parent who should just get their act together ... even my husband puts the blame of me for being too soft.
Do you get the feeling that you're the only one who can see a melt down approaching? - to be avoided at all costs - even if the end result is a domestic ... hard on the heart - but no one gets hit and nothing gets broken.
My youngest son always got it first - small, easy target - I've been his body guard all his life - I wasn't very good at the start, but I've learnt along the way. Unfortunately, I felt the only option for a long time was I had to take the blows for him ... not a nice place to be.
We're past the hitting out bit - nearly a year now (touch wood). Occasionallly things get broken - I see them as just that, 'things' - no one got hurt - is that wrong?
I'm not alone am I? R
Adult life with Asperger's is still difficult, but it's a different sort of difficult, so speaking for myself I can't say whether it's exactly easier. I'm very well thought of by most people who get to know me, and I think that now I'm older I can be seen more as a person with thoughts and feelings rather than just a changeling child who refuses to do her schoolwork and cries at the slightest thing. On the other hand, during childhood, people didn't have such high expectations for my behaviour and I do worry a lot about how I'm perceived by strangers.
I think by the time I was born (I'm 20) people were starting to become more aware of Asperger's and so I was diagnosed at the age of 8 with minimal hassle. I've also been quite lucky with my teachers, most of whom were very good after I was diagnosed. I would say all of them, were it not for one of them deciding she needed to humiliate me in front of the class when I let slip about a phobia of mine. Why she did that I've no idea; she'd been excellent until then.