Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi Everyone,
I'm a 47 year old woman who was diagnosed with Aspergers around 9 years ago after years of bullying in the workplace, anxiety and depression. After diagnosis I was basically left high and dry with no understanding or support apart from a very good friend.
I've been anxious and depressed off and on ever since until things came to a head in February when my life fell apart. But at last I've got a fantastic GP and psychiatrist who're getting me the help and support I need. I'm very keen to learn how to cope better with it and would welcome advice and like to make friends with like-minded people.
Wow that is very interesting that we have had similar experiences. That is really terrible that you have had to leave so many jobs due to bullying. Why are people so awful to each other at work??I have asked that myself so many times and never really understand where all that nastiness comes from other than to put it down to human nature (greed, selfishness, jealousy, etc, etc).
Some people seem to enjoy all the drama and intrigue and look for 'victims' to bully who appear weak. i guess that makes them feel stronger. I generally try very, very hard to avoid crossing paths or working with people like that, but sometimes you have no choice.
Being a shy introvert sends out the signals to the bullies that you are a potential victim, so I try to 'pretend' that I am confident at work (as much as I am able). Many years ago I took a self-defence class run by the police (for women) and the big point I took away from that was do not look like a victim: always walk tall, keep your head up, look like you know exactly where you are going, etc. If your body language sends off the signals that you are scared or nervous, others will recognise that and see you as easy prey. I always try to remember that. It doesn't always work though, as the really bad bullies can suss it out if you are faking it.
That is interesting what your psychiatrist said about female aspies being good at putting on an act of normality. I can definitely relate to that as I do it all the time in a work situation in particular. Most of the time I can pull it off, but when my energy levels are low, or I feel depressed or anxious, it is too much mental energy to keep up the act. Then I slide back into being very quiet and withdrawn.
I will certainly let you know how I get on with my GP next week.