Published on 12, July, 2020
I have just signed up to the site so I will introduce myself (without names)
I am the dad of a 5 year old recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum.
My son has always seemed like a normal child in our (parents) eyes. He has an older brother and sister and a good relationship with both, more his sister than his brother due to his brother being a teenager but they still get along great!
When our son was at nursery, aged 3, his key worker noticed some differences in our son compared to the other children and suggested we spoke to the child development centre for an assessment, 2 years on and he has his diagnosis as being on the spectrum.
As we have always seen him as a normal child, I personally have no idea on what to watch out for, if anything, he has opened my eyes to a whole new world!! At 5 years old his knowledge of technology is beyond me, it got to the point we had to have broadband removed as he literally became the computer, he now only has his Internet access via my own mobile phone. He absolutely loves wildlife, he has plenty of pets (tropical fish tank, goldfish tank, African clawed frog, 2 cockatiel, 3 mice and 6 cats!) and wants a parrot aswell but he can talk about all his pets along with other animals, he loves the sea life centres and often says we should be the ones in the tanks and not the animals. He loves nature,only 5 year old I know who asks me to buy him a pop up green house, plant pots, soil and seeds then will spend time potting things and watching them grow. As I'm originally from a big city and moved to a small town, my lifestyle has always been hectic so I have never stopped to look at the world around me, my son has opened my eyes to a lot of the world, when I see a flower, it's a flower, a bird is a bird but to my son, a flower is the most beautiful thing in the world, he'll describe the colours, the smell, every minor detail and it really does make me stop and look at things differently even when he's at school and I'm going about my daily work.
So what I see as a normal child is actually someone very fascinating who is also teaching me a lot as he grows, I've worked with disabled people in the past (having a disabled younger brother) but this is a new learning curve, admitted it can be stressful but at the same time it's enjoyable! I will be posting in other areas of the site (parents and carers section) and also reading posts to learn more aswell as trying to get involved in conversations where possible.
Hi Azalea
Thank you for your kind words.
I do actually think my son is at the Aspergers end of the spectrum but we're still learning ourselves but his honesty and his way with words is great, at times embarrassing but we understand that it's how he is and try to tell him that some times he shouldn't say certain things, luckily there's been nothing bad,the worst we've had was a discussion about Riley possibly coming home wearing the wrong shorts from sports, he went up behind the girl we thought they belonged to and said "see, they're not hers, she's got a big bum", it came out of nowhere infront of all the other parents and teachers, I never felt so embarrassed but luckily everyone saw the funny side. I'm often targeted aswell whilst playing and told exactly how I look (come in covered in oil and get told to stay away, I'm dirty, I smell etc, my clothes are a mess, then I have to go through a smell check after I've showered, if I don't smell fresh, he'll tell me) but at the same time he is so loving towards everyone and everything. The only thing we struggle with is trying to get him to understand certain things, stranger danger, traffic, other people's words and actions especially as the local children don't like to talk to him as much as he tries to make friends with them.
To be honest though, I have always tried to see things from his point of view, even when he's upset, I try to be level with him so he can talk to me rather than up to me and always listening to him even if I don't understand what he's talking about but he will try his best to teach me or explain things if I ask. The hardest part is watching him trying play with others who do their best to avoid him so his whole summer holiday so far has been sat indoors or the garden watching and listening to other children play other than his recent trip to my parents caravan and local beach so he doesn't feel like he's losing out on things.