Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I live with my partner who has aspergers he was diagnosed almost 2 years ago and he's 30. He hasn't had or been offered any support and althought Iv messaged verious people that shoul be able to help involving autism including the people who diagnosed him iv had no replys or iv had promises of being contacted and still nothing. I just wish there was some help.. Anything. My partner has a community service worker he talks to once a month, she has a son with aspergers... She claims to understand yet tells him he should go to the doctors for depression tablets... An tells him to do things she full well knows he just won't/can't do.. She also said to him I should be able to tell what he's feeling automatically even when he doesn't show it because after you have been around someone with aspergers for so many years you just know- which didn't go down well with him because then he started to be against me. Im not sure if she's right or not prehaps she is... I just dont think she's helping in anyway- I tried to point out that perhaps a mother son connections helps her, but he's still angry at me because now I'm supose to magically know everything. I try and most of the time I know when he is upset or angry. I just feel like I'm being given false advice and it really isn't helping. Is there any help?
Hi Wiserlady. Others on here will say this too - I have an incredibly high IQ, I'm very well educated, and I have all sorts of random knowledge that stuns people sometimes. I'm crap at relationships (although now I know why) so this is hard to understand, considering that I'm perfect LOL!.
I was just short of my 60th birthday when I got my diagnosis. I cannot describe to you the difference it has made to my life, so I won't try. Non-ASD people are unlikely to understand anyway, but you could try pointing your husband in our direction - he'd get it, if he really is ASD.
Anyone who knows me says the same - thanks for telling us but you're still the same person we always knew so what difference does it make? My answer is that I've no idea, but at least now they know. Your husband doesn't sound overly concerned, according to your words, so first ask yourself why you feel it important. For my part, I can see what he says and largely agree with it.
Men, ASD or not, don't spend a lot of time talking about love and stuff, love and sex are completely separate subjects for men anyway, whereas they are the same thing to women. Pardon me for saying this but the things you describe appear to me to be more about your personal dissatisfaction than concern for your husband. You don't even appear to understand male sexuality, or the range that personal libido can cover. If yours is high, and his is low...?
You should get a few answers on here and it will definitely be worth your while to talk them over with your husband. I'd really like to encourage him to ask his own questions of us, but I've no idea how you might persuade him to, given his apparent dissinterest in the whole topic! However, you might start by saying 'there are some really intelligent people...'.
Just a thought. If my perceptions are 'off', they're my AS perceptions based on your words and I do not apologise for having them because I am not sorry to be me. I do, however, stand to be corrected by new information, and I love new information!
All the best