Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, my name is Michael i'm a 29 year old male. I'm not diagnosed with any form of autism but over the last couple of years i have been wondering more and more if i am. I was wondering if there was anyone else who came to realise that they were suffering from a form of autism later in life and if they could help or tell me how they came to realise.
My whole life i have struggled with social interactions and have always kept to myself. When i was younger i struggled in school and was always in the lower classes suffering with dyslexia. I was ambidextrous up until high school, when i was forced to choose one hand to write with as my handwriting was so bad.
I have always excelled in the arts, being a musician and loving to draw. Later in life i acheived a first class degree in audio production and now i am studying a masters in sound design at a film school in the uk.
Lately i have been suffering from social anxiety and really struggling to interact and it has become more obvious as my course relies heavily on socialising with many other departments. I'm having regular panic attacks and find myself being unable communicate in groups.
I tend to keep to myself most of the time although i really want to interact with others more. I have alway known something was not right as i have struggled to keep relationships in the past and never had a long term relationship. I also struggle to keep in contact with friends and have lost many friends over the years due to this. I only have a handful of close friends that i have kept in contact with over the years.
I guess i have always known soemthing is wrong but i've always ignored it. It's only lately as it seems to be effecting my career that i feel i need to face whatever the issue is head on. The more i read about autism and the symptoms the more i feel i may be suffering from a form of it.
If anyone who is or has been in a similar situation later in life can share their experiences or help with what steps i should take next, i would be really greatful.
Thank You
Michael
Hi Michael, I came to the realisation that I may very well have Asperger's only a couple of months ago. I attended The Autism Show in Birmingham in June, and hearing four women speakers talking about their experiences of late diagnosis and their life, they could have been describing my own life back to me. I did the AQ test and came to an initial score of 35 (using self-editing) and retested with a score of 39 (answering more truthfully if there was no risk of negative social consequences, lost friendships, etc). I started freewriting the things about myself that could be associated with Autism/Asperger's, and that document ended up being 26 pages long. I started reading up on the subject and finally felt brave enough to approach my GP to request an assessment (and even then, I just took in my 26 page document, a few pages printed from the NAS website and my local NHS Foundation Trust). She agreed to refer me, so I filled in the form and returned it, and I'm still waiting to be contacted for the next steps. In the intervening time, I've started a blog to help me get my thoughts out and hopefully help others who suspect or are seeking a late diagnosis as an adult, especially women, as we display our Aspie traits in a different way. My blog is relatively new, but if you wish to check it out, it's at http://iammyownexperience.com/