Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, my name is Michael i'm a 29 year old male. I'm not diagnosed with any form of autism but over the last couple of years i have been wondering more and more if i am. I was wondering if there was anyone else who came to realise that they were suffering from a form of autism later in life and if they could help or tell me how they came to realise.
My whole life i have struggled with social interactions and have always kept to myself. When i was younger i struggled in school and was always in the lower classes suffering with dyslexia. I was ambidextrous up until high school, when i was forced to choose one hand to write with as my handwriting was so bad.
I have always excelled in the arts, being a musician and loving to draw. Later in life i acheived a first class degree in audio production and now i am studying a masters in sound design at a film school in the uk.
Lately i have been suffering from social anxiety and really struggling to interact and it has become more obvious as my course relies heavily on socialising with many other departments. I'm having regular panic attacks and find myself being unable communicate in groups.
I tend to keep to myself most of the time although i really want to interact with others more. I have alway known something was not right as i have struggled to keep relationships in the past and never had a long term relationship. I also struggle to keep in contact with friends and have lost many friends over the years due to this. I only have a handful of close friends that i have kept in contact with over the years.
I guess i have always known soemthing is wrong but i've always ignored it. It's only lately as it seems to be effecting my career that i feel i need to face whatever the issue is head on. The more i read about autism and the symptoms the more i feel i may be suffering from a form of it.
If anyone who is or has been in a similar situation later in life can share their experiences or help with what steps i should take next, i would be really greatful.
Thank You
Michael
hi, i too only got the diagnosis a few months ago, being 25. For me it was a case of spotting an article about autism when i was flicking through a random magazine someone had left lieing around during my break at work. Ive always had massive problems during schooltime with massive stress buildups which often ended up me having to go off sick and social difficulties, never did make any real friends through the entire time there. (there was only one girl there i occasionally talked to, but she wasnt a very nice person, often pinching me just because i was "too boring otherwise" and telling me to do all sorts of things threatening she wont be my friend anymore if i dont and since i didnt wana be left entirely by myself to be bullied by everybody, i was extremely gullible) Also my parents moving often did not help, took me well over a year to get used to the new place again, just to move again in a few years time, it was hell. But i always thought thats jsut the way i am, i never even thought to look up the "symptoms" as i just took ithem as my personality traits rather than something that has an acctual name. So i looked it up how to get a referral and everywhere it said gotta do it via gp, which i find rather silly as its not like my gp knows me very well and they definetly not a professional able to judge whether i got asd or not. So i went to the surgery and asked a lady doctor if theyd be able to refer without an appointment, as i didnt feel comfortable talking to my gp about it but she said not without a specific appointment for that, so that was the first step, getting an appointment with a lady gp and having to explain to her why i think i got asd to get referred. By end of year i got an appointment with a psychiatrist, who asked me a load of questions and said yes, i probably am on the spectrum, but he actually has no experience in the field of autism, so not the right person to diagnose it. So was referred to a specialist who was booked all the way up to march. 2 appointments with her, tons of questionnaires to fill out inbetween and then she said thats enough, she can see im well on the spectrum so dont have to go through witht he rest of the tests:) thus diagnosed since end of march:) still had some more appointments afterwards, follow up, pat team, social worker... Last one being only a few days ago to see if they can get me into any support groups etc, am soo hoping itll be easyer to make friends with others like myself as they more likely to understand how hard it is....though i must admit a part of me is a bit worried that person with social/communication difficulties+ another person with social-communication difficulties=dead silence cuz nobody talks! But who knows:)