Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone. I've just joined this forum because I feel like I have nowhere left to turn. I have a 9 year old boy with ASD. Me and my husband have been through the last four years trying to get him diagnosed, as... well, you all have been there, you know when something doesn't feel right, right? I mean you name it, we've tried it, and nothing seemed to be working as regards discipline/rules/structure. We've been through the 1-2-3 Magic course twice, bought the book, etc...
So we got an official diagnosis last year. And since then... Well, things have gone from bad to worse. Despite both us parents and one of his grandparents going on the course, and they are both aware of his diagnosis, it feels like I'm the only one prepared to do anything. I'm sticking to the 1-2-3 thing, cause he needs some rules in his life, right? But my husband has basically given up, saying it doesn't work (it does when you do it right) My parents in law have said it's a load of rubbish, and this is what happens to kids if you don't smack them, and that it's my fault he's like he is because I do these "stupid silly courses that don't work" (their exact words).
Last night came to a head with all three of them shouting at once at him (my husband has a history of losing his temper frequently with my son), and whatever I was saying was being ignored or shouted down. :(
I'm sorry this is a long introduction, and I know you all have your own problems with your own situations, but I feel as if I have nowhere left to turn. I need someone to talk to and to help. I cannot go out on my own anymore, even if just for a couple of hours, because I'm afraid of what situation I'll find when I get home. I don't want to resort to smacking my child (long story) but I need help.
Hi, i feel really quite sorry for your Son You also i must say. I'm trying to think of words that arn't to hash for your other half and in laws but I'm struggling, absolute ignorance and ignorance in alot of cases = stupidity 'this being one'? They think your sons ASD can be delt with by a smack or shouting at him this will make him worse.
From what i've read 'thank God your Son has you' it maybe be difficult to give your son any comfort through, discipline/rules/structure if your partner and parents have that sort of attitude, your sons bound to feel uneasy and be upset and be able to pick up on any bad feeling.
As a 9 yr old he won't understand and be able to explain a great deal of what he feels, the discomforts that he has and they will in alot of cases manifest themselves into difficult behaviour.
As crystal12 mentioned see your GP,Social Worked if you have one, try Local Community centre ask them for advice.
All the best, if you write more about your Son his behaviour, likes dislikes and hobbies members of the Forum may be able to offer you abit more advice, best of luck and kind reguards Steven.