Hello! Wife of 52yr old Husband, Who is waiting to be formally diagnosed

Hi Everyone. I seem to be a bit of a rarity after checking out lots of ASD forums.

I have been Married 34 years to My Husband and Have 2 grown up sons aged 31 and 33. Our Youngest Son was diagnosed ADD at 10 years of age and Our eldest Son Suffers terribly from Anxiety and other issues and is also currently awaiting to be assessed for ASD. My Husband has always had problems with His Mental Health and inability to maintain what is considered ''Normal''  behaviour.

I will probably add lots more in different posts as I try to find help and answers to Our problems and Questions. You may see Me use ''Our'' and ''We'' a lot in My posts as I am pretty much My Husbands ''Wing Man'' and it affects us both, The problems He has.

My Husband had a Complete Breakdown in October 2013 and We are still trying to get Him back to somewhere near His previous functioning.

He had been receiving treatment for Anxiety and Depression from 2012 which was not working and things became so bad that in October 2013 He was calmly telling Me about His plans to hang Himself at work, Before becoming almost completley Catatonic for 2 weeks.

After an urgent Psych assessment at Home, The Psychiatrist who came decided after talking to Him for 1 hour and 10 minutes, That He had Adjustment Disorder with traits of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder!

Anyway 18 mths later, My Husband has been on the Enhanced Care Pathway for Complex Mental Health since March 2014 and despite taking various cocktails of SSRI's SNRI's, Anti Psychotics, Anti Anxiety Meds and Diazepam, He is still unable to function in any way resembling His old self Without 24/7 care and support from Me.

Eventually 5 months ago His Care Coordinator after visiting Us at home Asked if He had ever been assessed for ASD. This comment was made whilst My Husband was sat in His chair With His eyes closed,Rocking, Shaking and Jerking, Whilst alternating between Rubbing His Head and Twisting One hand continuously!

I can not believe I did not realise sooner! I was a Support Worker for 10 years for Young adults with ASD and Challenging behaviour and although over the Years I thought Hubby may have ADD, like Our Son or at times Bipolar I just did not See what in hindsight was so obvious, And for that I feel guilty that He was not helped earlier.

Anyway That is the Brief run down that has brought Me here and I am hoping to gain more insight and support and hopefully see My Husband return back to some form of independence. Thanks for Listening!