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Advice needed for meltdowns please!!!

racytrace72
over 9 years ago

Hi, I am new to the site and am looking for any advice on how to deal with my 11 year old son's meltdowns!

At the end of last year we had an Ed Psych assessment which showed that he has a high liklihood of Aspergers and a severe Seperation Anxiety Disorder.  I have many problems getting him into school some days as using the school toilets is a massive issue for him along with the bus journey, changing from lesson to lesson, time in the playground with friends, using the school canteen, everything generally!

At home, he has many meltdowns and just today has begun to be very physical with me, pushing me and hitting me too.  Today he was damaging my radiator with a toy car and when I took the car away he became violent. 

He has been referred to CAMHS and they met on Monday this week to decide if they are going to take him on or not.  I am at the end of my tether.  I try to stay really calm and leave him to 'play out' the meltdown as interaction seems to aggravate him, but today nothing worked.  He didnt want to do anything with me, didnt want me even in the same room as him, then when I went off to do something else, that wasnt right either!  How do other people manage it?

He can also be very aggravating to his younger brother who is 8 and also seems to have the same 'symptoms' and to be honest it is hard work trying to keep them tolerating each other as one comment from one sets the other one off!!!

Does anyone have any suggestions that may help please?

Thanks

Parents
  • over 9 years ago

    Thanks for your reply Aspiedent.  I wish it were that simple.  As soon as my 2 boys see each other, they are winding each other up and causing trouble.  If I do something with one of them the other wont leave us alone, even though it will be their turn next.  If we do something all together then they will argue about that too.

    My son expects me to wave a magic wand and make things better straightaway and wont accept that things take time.  Our referral to CAMHS has only just been received and it could take weeks or months to even get an initial appointment, let alone any help. At the present time, my son is not receptive in any way to getting help or planning anything with me to help him.  He just wants it sorted at the click of a finger and that just isnt realistic!

    All he has said tonight about attacking me is that he didnt mean too.....isnt that what domestic abusers say to the abused!!!

    Feeling very sad and alone Frown

Reply
  • over 9 years ago

    Thanks for your reply Aspiedent.  I wish it were that simple.  As soon as my 2 boys see each other, they are winding each other up and causing trouble.  If I do something with one of them the other wont leave us alone, even though it will be their turn next.  If we do something all together then they will argue about that too.

    My son expects me to wave a magic wand and make things better straightaway and wont accept that things take time.  Our referral to CAMHS has only just been received and it could take weeks or months to even get an initial appointment, let alone any help. At the present time, my son is not receptive in any way to getting help or planning anything with me to help him.  He just wants it sorted at the click of a finger and that just isnt realistic!

    All he has said tonight about attacking me is that he didnt mean too.....isnt that what domestic abusers say to the abused!!!

    Feeling very sad and alone Frown

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