Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm the Dad of a 14 year-old boy who has been referred to CAMHS for a diagnosis. It all started a year ago when we were on holiday and an education specialist talked to us and suggested he needed a diagnosis. I went away to read about Asperger's on here and found it described my son exactly.
We'd always thought of our son as just being 'him' - quiet, struggling socially, physically awkward and extremely interested in a particular hobby. He never showed any emotions and didn't understand humour. Apart from the odd outburst he was just quiet, studious but lonely.
Having had an episode at home I printed off the list of character traits, having first removed any names/titles. He ticked the lot!
We went to the GP, discussed it with him and he sent a referral to CAMHS - who sent it straight back saying they needed an educational psychologist referral and wouldn't acccept his. To say he wasn't happy was an understatement; he's a senior GP who is nationally respected!
However ... to the school we went. My son's at a selective grammar in West Yorkshire who were initially hesitant but since then have been great. He had an educational psychologist assessment in July, which the school wanted to do then to cover his GCSE's. The Asperger's diagnosis result has helped the school and him. Then we were back through the (vindicated) GP and off to CAMHS. We're at that point now ... waiting, although we've just completed the initial questionnaire.
He's coming to terms with it and one of his first comments was "it's OK, I'm not strange". He spent a long time, unbeknown to us, reading about Asperger's and did a self-diagnosis test.
As first he didn't want to meet anyone else with Asperger's or Autism. However, a year on from the process starting and he's starting to ask whether he could meet others with Asperger's.
Does this happen at all?
Oh, and thanks for reading my lengthy speil. As a family we're learning but we all need to develop strategies to help him, and he needs to himself. Where we think he also needs help is in developing hobbies/interests where he socialises; currently it's just Minecraft and his cats. Some idea of the type of hobbies which would interest a 14-15 year-old boy with Asperger's would be great!
stateofindependence said:Firstly, it sounds like you are doing all the right things, and he is in the best educational environment possible.I also have several friends (undiagnosed but very Aspie) who are into orienteering and long distance running. The school may have after school classes, or maybe these activities are something you could do with him?
Firstly, it sounds like you are doing all the right things, and he is in the best educational environment possible.
I also have several friends (undiagnosed but very Aspie) who are into orienteering and long distance running. The school may have after school classes, or maybe these activities are something you could do with him?
recombinantsocks said:Welcome the forum. Agree wholeheartedly wityh SOI,It can be useful to engage him and encourage him to spend his time on academic stuff - perhaps not directly related to his school studies but perhaps extra curricular things like chess, astronomy or other subjects where his focused enquiring mind might find a rewarding outlet.I found that cycling was a good form of exercise that didn't require great dexterity. Cyclists are often lone figures that aren't particularly social!One thing you can do is to point out positive role models on TV - most of the TV detectives are somewhere down the spectrum. They are often lonely enigmatic and clever and interesting without being too weird. Doc Martin is perhaps a bit too weird for some tastes but is clearly and deliberately modeled on Asperger's.
Welcome the forum. Agree wholeheartedly wityh SOI,
It can be useful to engage him and encourage him to spend his time on academic stuff - perhaps not directly related to his school studies but perhaps extra curricular things like chess, astronomy or other subjects where his focused enquiring mind might find a rewarding outlet.
I found that cycling was a good form of exercise that didn't require great dexterity. Cyclists are often lone figures that aren't particularly social!
One thing you can do is to point out positive role models on TV - most of the TV detectives are somewhere down the spectrum. They are often lonely enigmatic and clever and interesting without being too weird. Doc Martin is perhaps a bit too weird for some tastes but is clearly and deliberately modeled on Asperger's.
Thanks for the positive comments. We suggested orienteering and will have a go at a 'taster' session. I forgot to mention he's in his school chess club.
With cycling it's a difficult one; both myself and his younger brother compete as cyclists. He thinks we're mad - and doesn't like riding with us as he can't keep up with his 10yo brother. However ... I suggested getting him to work with his brother to analyse his stats/riding position/etc. as I struggle to. His coaches don't look much at this aspect and it seemed to go down well so we'll give it a try.
Doc Martin will be on our list; he's watched it this evening anyway.