Hi, I’m new here. I’m 30 and suspect that I am neurodivergent (I’m not sure exactly what my diagnosis would be, I have been on waiting lists for assessment for 2 and a half years)
I’m tired of merely existing but most of the time, I feel that’s all I am capable of. Why does it take maximum effort and energy for me to just be a person? l hope this makes sense to someone.
Anyway, I am currently working my fifth Admin job and (as with the four previous) I feel my time here is coming to an end. I always come to a point where it becomes almost unbearable to go to work and play pretend with my colleagues and I end up leaving my job. I have this feeling (maybe more of a hope) that I am destined for more than being trapped in an office day in day out, with people I don’t have anything in common with. However, i don’t know what I’m destined to do or how I get there, nor how to find “my people”.
I have tried studying for qualifications that could broaden my horizon, but that usually ends with me being put off the job I thought I wanted, or dropping out (either because I’m bored or overwhelmed I can’t work out which?)
Does anyone here have any similar feelings or experiences surrounding work and figuring out what you should be doing (aside from just floating around attempting to function in society)?
Thanks in advance x