Existing

Hello and welcome, I'm new here as well so I don't know how much help I'll be. 

I'm 27 and undiagnosed, but am likely neurodivergent in some ways as well. With regards to your situation and your questions, I recognise the feelings and experiences having experienced similar situations myself. I've never actually worked a job, never reaching that stage, and have been on Universal Credit since I finished school. 

Every time I talk about doing something to better my situation, it usually falls through right as I reach the stage where I should begin doing something, because doing it feels too difficult and I feel like I will fail at it anyway so why bother. I fully understand the feeling of just floating around attempting to function, and living day to day unsure of how to do what you're 'supposed to'.

With regards to advice, I'm not sure how much help I'll be given that I am struggling with that myself. I wouldn't feel comfortable offering advice that'll probably end up making things worse for you in someway or another, so I'll just say that using this forum and asking the question is probably the best way to start.

Hi, thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that you feel that sense of floating around, it’s not a good feeling but it’s good to know I’m not alone in that.
Everyone around me seems to be so capable and what’s worse they expect the same from me (after a life of masking, NT people assume I am the same as them) so I feel like I’m constantly trying to meet that expectation and burning myself out in the process. 

I don’t think you should fear failing, if you did want to try something and it didn’t work out I think that’s more of a learning what isn’t ok for you rather than a failing.  
Dont worry about offering advice, knowing that someone can relate to my situation is enough, so thank you! I hope that you can take the same solace from this.

Thank you for the kind words, and I will take solace from your comments.

My largest problem is an almost crippling lack of self-confidence and self-esteem which makes any failure in my part, no matter how minor, feel like an insurmountable obstacle that defines my entire character and worth.

With regards to your recent question about the lack of ambition to BE something, I also fully understand that. I've had many problems since ending school with the realisation that I have little to no desire to actually achieve something or become something within the career world or the workplace. I have little to no desire to get a job, especially one that would require. a lot of effort or work, no matter how well paid. I genuinely understand the desire for just a basic career or job that allows you to get through life without confirming to too many expectations.

My entire ambitions and desire revolves around my wish to have a family of my own, a loving wife and a few children, but given my unemployment, social awkwardness and low self esteem, that desire is unlikely to come true. But I hope to persevere and succeed one day, it is the one thing that keeps me going, even a tiny bit.

Thank you for the kind words, and I will take solace from your comments.

My largest problem is an almost crippling lack of self-confidence and self-esteem which makes any failure in my part, no matter how minor, feel like an insurmountable obstacle that defines my entire character and worth.

With regards to your recent question about the lack of ambition to BE something, I also fully understand that. I've had many problems since ending school with the realisation that I have little to no desire to actually achieve something or become something within the career world or the workplace. I have little to no desire to get a job, especially one that would require. a lot of effort or work, no matter how well paid. I genuinely understand the desire for just a basic career or job that allows you to get through life without confirming to too many expectations.

My entire ambitions and desire revolves around my wish to have a family of my own, a loving wife and a few children, but given my unemployment, social awkwardness and low self esteem, that desire is unlikely to come true. But I hope to persevere and succeed one day, it is the one thing that keeps me going, even a tiny bit.