Diagnosed at 50 and struggling to find any positives after a lifetime of negative experiences and perceptions of autism!

I found the assessment hard work too. It was only 5 months ago so I am still in the post-assessment mode

I understand what you mean about about character flaws seemingly being exposed. I thought to myself at times, at and between the assessment sessions, this is like being asked to take you clothes off in public. Since then I have been applying the "you really are autistic" result seriously but slowly. Only my partner knows and the NHS have been informed. What is most important for me, at the moment, is to gently and slowly allow the assessment result to sink in.

I have had 70+ years of being a certain me and, quite frankly, it has been at times difficult, tiring, depressing, painful, miserable, exhausting, with regular 2-3 year burnouts, etc. For me, the assessment explains why a lot of this has happened.     

I do re-read the full assessment document as it has comments I made at the time and I say to myself "that is so like me". For instance, something I said in the assessment about "always getting very absorbed when making things..." was paraphrased in the assessment as "a very single-focused attentional processing preference". So now, I am not just a person who "really likes making things" but "a person with a very single-focused attentional processing preference". What was just a pastime now has meaning and significance.  And it feels great! 

If an assessment confirms to a person that are not the person they always thought they were, then I suppose there is bound to be a period of re-adjustment. 

So I hope things get easier for you with time. 

Hi llovetea88, 

I am glad you have received your ASD diagnosis. The diagnosis process can be very difficult and it can be an intense emotional period after receiving your diagnosis. 

if you would like it may be helpful to read our pages on after the diagnosis which talks through how the experience may be and also about talking to people about your diagnosis as well as the support you can access: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/after-diagnosis

It may be helpful to talk through your struggles with someone outside of your friends and family and you can read up on potential therapy you can seek out here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/mental-health/seeking-help

I hope you also find the replies from the community helpful. 

Best wishes,

Alice mod 

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

Following diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. After getting over that initial impact, my own late diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

NAS - How will I feel after receiving an autism diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

HiIlovetea88 and welcome great username BTW.

 I’ve been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, it’s been about a year. My main areas of struggle are communicating socially and maintaining friendships too.

I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without my therapist, like you i didn’t share my struggles with anyone so talking has been a slow process but it’s helped tremendously.

Its a lot to have to process so don’t be too hard on yourself, take things slowly and find people who understand the experience, you’ve already found this place but what about some in person groups locally, maybe?