Diagnosed at 50 and struggling to find any positives after a lifetime of negative experiences and perceptions of autism!

Hi all, I had an ASD assessment after my children were diagnosed at 14 and 22. Then a realisation that my late Mum was probably undiagnosed herself. The diagnosis does explain a lot through my life, mainly struggling with maintaining friendships and communicating socially. I chose to have the assessment but I found the process hard. It was like I was listening all my character flaws which highlighted everything. I found the whole face to face part a little humiliating and it really affected me afterwards. It's only been 4 months since my diagnosis and not sure how to feel and who to tell. I have a job, a family. I don't share a lot of my struggles so I don't know where to start. Does anyone have a similar experience? 

Parents
  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

    Following diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. After getting over that initial impact, my own late diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

    NAS - How will I feel after receiving an autism diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

    Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Reply
  • Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

    Following diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. After getting over that initial impact, my own late diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

    NAS - How will I feel after receiving an autism diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

    Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Children
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