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Diagnosed at 50 and struggling to find any positives after a lifetime of negative experiences and perceptions of autism!

Ilovetea88

Hi all, I had an ASD assessment after my children were diagnosed at 14 and 22. Then a realisation that my late Mum was probably undiagnosed herself. The diagnosis does explain a lot through my life, mainly struggling with maintaining friendships and communicating socially. I chose to have the assessment but I found the process hard. It was like I was listening all my character flaws which highlighted everything. I found the whole face to face part a little humiliating and it really affected me afterwards. It's only been 4 months since my diagnosis and not sure how to feel and who to tell. I have a job, a family. I don't share a lot of my struggles so I don't know where to start. Does anyone have a similar experience? 

Parents

  • I found the assessment hard work too. It was only 5 months ago so I am still in the post-assessment mode

    I understand what you mean about about character flaws seemingly being exposed. I thought to myself at times, at and between the assessment sessions, this is like being asked to take you clothes off in public. Since then I have been applying the "you really are autistic" result seriously but slowly. Only my partner knows and the NHS have been informed. What is most important for me, at the moment, is to gently and slowly allow the assessment result to sink in.

    I have had 70+ years of being a certain me and, quite frankly, it has been at times difficult, tiring, depressing, painful, miserable, exhausting, with regular 2-3 year burnouts, etc. For me, the assessment explains why a lot of this has happened.     

    I do re-read the full assessment document as it has comments I made at the time and I say to myself "that is so like me". For instance, something I said in the assessment about "always getting very absorbed when making things..." was paraphrased in the assessment as "a very single-focused attentional processing preference". So now, I am not just a person who "really likes making things" but "a person with a very single-focused attentional processing preference". What was just a pastime now has meaning and significance.  And it feels great! 

    If an assessment confirms to a person that are not the person they always thought they were, then I suppose there is bound to be a period of re-adjustment. 

    So I hope things get easier for you with time. 

     
       

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  • I found the assessment hard work too. It was only 5 months ago so I am still in the post-assessment mode

    I understand what you mean about about character flaws seemingly being exposed. I thought to myself at times, at and between the assessment sessions, this is like being asked to take you clothes off in public. Since then I have been applying the "you really are autistic" result seriously but slowly. Only my partner knows and the NHS have been informed. What is most important for me, at the moment, is to gently and slowly allow the assessment result to sink in.

    I have had 70+ years of being a certain me and, quite frankly, it has been at times difficult, tiring, depressing, painful, miserable, exhausting, with regular 2-3 year burnouts, etc. For me, the assessment explains why a lot of this has happened.     

    I do re-read the full assessment document as it has comments I made at the time and I say to myself "that is so like me". For instance, something I said in the assessment about "always getting very absorbed when making things..." was paraphrased in the assessment as "a very single-focused attentional processing preference". So now, I am not just a person who "really likes making things" but "a person with a very single-focused attentional processing preference". What was just a pastime now has meaning and significance.  And it feels great! 

    If an assessment confirms to a person that are not the person they always thought they were, then I suppose there is bound to be a period of re-adjustment. 

    So I hope things get easier for you with time. 

     
       

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