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Introducing myself...

Latediagnosedandlost

Hi all. Im just going to put on what ive just put on my profile. Any advice or help would be lovely. Hope everyone's ok. Here goes..

I'm Sean. Im 50 and just been diagnosed as Autistic, with ADHD running co-currently. So I guess I'm AuDHD, if that's the right phrase?  And since that, I've been a person in two halves. Maybe even three. I know it doesn't make sense. I've felt relief, vindication,  but also denial and shame. And I dont know why. I dont know who the real me is now as I know I've been masking and covering up my authentic self by copying everyone else's mannerisms and actions, but without any of their knowledge. Trying to find out how be my myself from now on....

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  • Hi and welcome 

    I’m AuDHD too and I’ve felt that not knowing who the real me is after years of masking and copying others just to get by, so you’re not alone in that.

    For me it’s been a slow process of getting to know myself again. I’m still figuring it out. Be gentle with yourself, you don’t have to have all the answers straight away.

    Blush

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    Thank you for replying. At this moment in time I feel like im never going to find out who my authentic self is. I am a different person to different people. I act a certain way with one, and be another person to another. It sounds ridiculous. 

  • in reply to Latediagnosedandlost

    You sound like me! Blush 

    I hope you're doing ok?

  • in reply to Latediagnosedandlost

    That's sounds lovely, you're being you. But I appreciate it can be problematic. Ive had stages of being reclusive. Ive also had stages of being outspoken. Neither helped. That's why I joined here, I've never had a problem talking with people on the spectrum.

    And yes the overthinking when communicating is awful. I have an internal dialogue going off and I dont know how to respond or can remember what is being said. I cause offence alot when I certainly dont mean to or am accused of being aggressive when im being passionate. I squirm around and overthink everything, sometimes for days or weeks after a conversation. Its very frustrating not being able to communicate and awful when people respond negatively when im simply being myself.

    I had given up altogether but medication has helped me no end. And I want to try again, now I have a deeper understanding of the problem.

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  • in reply to Latediagnosedandlost

    That's sounds lovely, you're being you. But I appreciate it can be problematic. Ive had stages of being reclusive. Ive also had stages of being outspoken. Neither helped. That's why I joined here, I've never had a problem talking with people on the spectrum.

    And yes the overthinking when communicating is awful. I have an internal dialogue going off and I dont know how to respond or can remember what is being said. I cause offence alot when I certainly dont mean to or am accused of being aggressive when im being passionate. I squirm around and overthink everything, sometimes for days or weeks after a conversation. Its very frustrating not being able to communicate and awful when people respond negatively when im simply being myself.

    I had given up altogether but medication has helped me no end. And I want to try again, now I have a deeper understanding of the problem.

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