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New here feeling isolated since diagnosis

Starlight9083

Hi everyone, I'm new to this online community. I rarely reach out online to share my problems, I just thought I would try and share what im going through. I was diagnosed with high functioning autism last summer at the age of 26, since being diagnosed life has become even more confusing and isolating for me, it is difficult especially because my family don't necessarily believe in autism or want to accept that I am on the spectrum, it's almost like im only labeled as being autistic when it suits them.

life for me has always felt incredibly lonely and isolating, I never considered myself to be autistic I just thought I was shy and a bit strange (people would tell me growing up), now as a young women I still have the same interests I had as a child and life is very lonely for me I literally dont have any friends I dont speak to anyone anymore not even some family members, I don't use social media anymore because it become all to much (needed a break I guess), I always struggled to make and maintain friendships and any I did have its been years since we've spoken. It is difficult for me to reach out, my life isn't particularly interesting, there's not much going on for me and I'm embarrassed about not having much to talk about with anyone.

I'm just at a point in my life where I feel so incredibly alone and stuck. I'm not in the best situation and I've never been able to find a way out of it. There's so much more I can say but for now it's really me just hoping to connect with neurodivergent people. Hopefully there's someone else out there who understands what I'm going through. I don't even know if anyone will read this but if you do I appreciate your time in reading my post. 

  • Hello.

    You send words out into the void and know not where they'll land. The problem is when you don't send them, not when you do. But your virtual message in a bottle has found people.

    You have more to talk about than you think. You have your inner world. You have your experiences, your ideas, your history, the books you've read, films you've watched, things you like or dislike, art, pictures,  etc. There is always something. It is just confidence. 

    Being isolated, by accident, design, or in order to cope, is draining. It is lonely and that nags at you, even when you try to tell yourself it doesn't.

    You aren't broken and I know how confusing it can be.

    It is hard when other people invalidate what you think. It is hard enough convincing yourself at the start.

    But the trick is to make little changes, since they all add up. The problem is to identify them and to start.

  • Hello Starlight. I think you shared how you felt extremely honestly, that can't have been easy. I don't do socials either for a similar reason. Families can be different depending on their generation in my experience, my nan still says how sorry she is for me (she was also the generation that wanted me to be able to write with my right hand not my left so ended up writing with both). Keep talking and posting when you feel able, there is always someone here who gets it and will be able to relate. Welcome. 

  • Just wanted to say Hi

    Most of what you say about having nothing interesting to say really struck a chord with me. That was / is my life. I too have never been one to easily ask for help.

    You are not alone in here. There are lots of different people on here and I am sure if you browse or start a thread about some or one of your interests someone will be along with something similar. 

  • I just wanted to say hi Starlight9083 and welcome! 

    It can be tough realising you are autistic but also it can be freeing that you don't have to blame yourself. Your brain is wired differently, so all these things were always going to be tricky for you.  It can also be hard that other people, including family don't understand that, and don't want to see the struggles you are facing, and have faced (I think some of this can be guilt induced). 

    I hope you can find a way to be more content with who you are now, and enjoy reaching out, we are all figuring it out and at different stages on our acceptance journey!