A book club - with a difference.

I enjoyed that one

Im now reading Vita Sackville-West’s ALL PASSION SPENT. It is about an elderly aristocratic lady who confounds her family after her husband of high rank in late colonial times dies. She refuses all their offers if “help”, gives away her jewels, refuses to live in luxury and instead goes to a rented house in Highgate, telling her family not to visit her. 

At its core it is a positive alternative to the negative and depressing vision of aging which I for one had been experiencing. Im about ¾ through, the prose is of the highest quality, clearly printed in this the first edition, and is helping me to see hope for my remaining years as I had been allowing myself to sink into despondency. Its only a small part of turning my life around but for its very definitely the right book at the right time. 

Vita S-W is famous as Virginia Woolf’s friend and lover, but she was a great writer in her own right, poetry and novels, and latterly a very gifted gardener. Her house at Sissinghurst in Kent is I think a National Trust property where you can learn all about her and her husband plus walk in her incredible gardens  

Alice

I've just read The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. Whilst the book and characters are fiction, it is based on real things that happened in France during ww2. I really enjoyed it and couldn't stop reading. It is about 2 sisters. 1 law abiding and 1 not so much. The second sister is desperate to help the war effort and doesn't like France's stance of complying with the Germans whilst the other sister thinks they should do what they are told. It then shows the different ways your average person went above and beyond in the war focussing on things like rescuing Jewish children and helping allied airmen escape. Part of it is based on Andrée de Jongh who was a real person that helped lots of airmen escape of the Pyrenees. Just unbelievable what people found the strength to do. One of the big messages from the book was how underestimated women were, to the point that the Germans disregarded them for a large portion of the war because they didn't think they were capable of doing anything that could hinder them. I highly recommend this book.

Reading baby city by Frieda McFadden and Kelly Stoddard, not got far in but going to try reading more chapters tonight

I just got an advert for a new book called 'this is not the diary of Izzy Dobson'. It's in the style of the diary of a wimpy kid books, but it's about a tween girl who has undiagnosed autism and ADHD. 

It looks like good fun (and hopefully good representation) so I might give it a read, even though it's really aimed at kids!

Currently Reading 'Brain Damage' by Frieda McFadden!

Half way through

I have audible which helps but I'm very much traditional with books. Love a good book in hand and just nothing else but the story to escape to. I feel audible books can make me kind of still grounded in reality whereas a book feels like you can shut off everything around you. 

Apparently folk from a big steel making town in north Lincolnshire have horrendous problems! 

I wonder if listening to talking books might be a way back? These are free to loan if you tell the library you have autism.

I'm actually struggling to re-read again. I've lost that spark I think. On my birthday I buy a book and give myself until my next birthday to read it. It's a shame really because I was a massive MASSIVE book worm until I think depression struck and I can't face it.

I did join a book club once and it was online which I thought I might float the idea for you guys if you want to try it.

But basically everyone puts a book forward and all books by first come first served order all suggestions go in a list and you just go down the list. No voting and no book doesn't get read and it's fair. No worries if not but it's an idea. A one or 2 monthly online get-together to chat about the book is an option or just chat on a forum like this. 

it's just an idea, but this is a great idea and hopefully I'll take some inspiration in some to try and read again. 

I just re-read Nenius, it's interesting to go back and read all the mythic histories of Britain again, most of it is obviously wrong, but there's a lot of Ancestor Tales in them, back then your lineage was really important, Anglo-Saxon's and the Norse peoples always had a famous ancestor, usually going back to Woden/Odin, so creating an ancestry back to Noah and his sons after the flood makes total sense in this context. There's some very garbled, but real history in them too.

I did look at the prices and the prices I quoted were correct, it's all on the website.

I think you'll find they start at £150. Why not email for prices? My old flatmate in Oxford had his shoes handmade at £200 a pair (he had large feet) and said they were a dream to walk in. He sent a drawing of the outline of his feet with measurements and ordered through post.

Best thing about bespoke is you can have them repaired - they'll last years so are cost effective.  Could you ask friends and family to pool you birthday monies and buy you a pair?

I don't think otherwise you are going to get properly fitting footwear which is awful as it's so important for your foot health. If you are worried about emailing suppliers, I don't mind asking for you.

Thanks Marianne, but I couldn't afford nearly £500 for ready made, I didn't even dare look at bespoke.

Sorry Citroen, I missed your last question about my dad’s opinion of Montgomery.   He thought very highly of him, indeed as you say most of the British and Canadian troops completely admired Montgomery. However his greatest loyalty was to his Division commander General Brian “Pip” Roberts and his superior officer General Horrocks. There was a very definite tension between the Commonwealth (we mustn’t forget the Canadians) and the Americans, but at the end of the day they fought under Eisenhower with a common objective and succeeded in defeating the Wermacht. 

I appreciate your interest btw, thank you

AnA

Don't worry - it was meant to help - just another way of looking at this situation.

It's very difficult finding anything if you're not 'standard' - the only thing is to get a pair made for you. Click here - these are bespoke footwear makers in Wales.

You can call it any damn thing you like, rare, unusual, too big for a woman, but it dosen't change the fact that I can't get shoes that fit me and trudging around in wellies, when I can find some I can get my feet into, walking boots or winter boots for the summer, or conversely sandles in winter. I'm not trying to have a go at you Marianne, but when it's something practicle and real world like this "reframing" feel's insulting, undermining and like being told to shut and go away, just like the reaction I get in shoe shops. How do I find joy in this situation?

I agree with you about emotions though, I think us Brits are far too buttoned up.

I guess he doesn't have that problem exactly but what he is saying is that everyone feels marginalized by something - and that 'something' is where we butt up against what is taken for normal in a particular society. It could be something like people not being allowed to cry loudly or scream at funerals, or expected to 'stay strong' when you have cancer. In other societies, it is acceptable to express strong emotions - and in fact is more healthy psychologically.

Perhaps you could look at your shoe issue another way (which is called 'reframing).' Perhaps your feet are a rare size, so of course you can't find anything - because shops only cater for the majority. And there is something to be quietly enjoyed in being different!

Lovely idea!