Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been diagnosed with ADHD for years and OCD for even longer, but despite getting help & medication I'm still struggling. My autistic friends and family think I have a level of autism as well and I'm not sure what to do with that. My autistic best friend said it wasn't as noticeable until I was medicated for the ADHD, but is certain it's a thing for me. Her husband is AuDHD as well, so she's got a good understanding of what it could look like. I'm balancing a lot of stuff, I've got a managerial job, I'm a carer and I've had a lot of "adverse life experiences" over the last few years - not the least with managing the Covid pandemic and months of shielding and losing my entire life and support structure overnight. I'm currently going through titration to try and sort out my ADHD meds a bit better and I'm hovering on the edge of raising it with my ADHD consultant, but I'm not even sure how to start that conversation. I'm waiting on talking therapy from the NHS, but that's taking a long while in coming. I'm really not sure where to go next with anything. Sorry, this seems a rather self-indulgent post, but I think I needed to just get it out there.
I’m aware of several people (especially women) who after receiving treatment for adhd suddenly seem autistic as the adhd had previously been ‘hiding’ the autism symptoms. Embrace autism (website) has several tests including the RAADS-R, I’d highly recommend doing this as it’s simple and clinically relevant. Then bringing it up with both your adhd consultant (although they might tell you to go back through your GP) and your GP- something like “my friends who have been diagnosed with autism seem to think I might have it and I scored quite highly on [these online tests for autism]” is a good way to start the conversation.
It’s not self-indulgent at all - you’re dealing with so much. I’m sorry - I can totally imagine why you are feeling so overwhelmed. Myself and my two adult sons both have a diagnosis of autism - and my eldest son has just recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I know very little about ADHD so had not realised he would get this diagnosis. My youngest has ocd too by the way - such a difficult thing to live with. And like you the pandemic had a massive impact on our family and we are still feeling the impact of that.
if I were in your situation I would ask my GP to refer me for an autism assessment. It will likely take more than a year to actually happen - and in that time you can be deciding whether or not you want to proceed with it, and processing your feelings on this issue. As your partner is autistic I imagine you’re already very knowledgeable about autism - so can work many things out without a diagnosis in a sense. I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time in recent years - I can definitely relate! Best wishes to you :)
First of all don't feel this is a self indulgent post as it is helping other people; me being one of them, so thank you. I was diagnosed with OCD at 16, Depression at 18 for which I was medicated, Anxiety at 26 for which I was medicated, and it wasn't until I was 38 that I was diagnosed with both ADHD and ASD within a few weeks of each other. I fast tracked my diagnosis with the NHS by going through Right To Choose and ended up with one of their providers (Psychiatry UK), having both my ADHD and ASD assessments within a few months of being put on the waiting list, rather than the 18 years and 10 years respectively these diagnoses would have taken based on the current waiting times in Gloucestershire. I went through titration for ADHD medication and after a few months felt that although it had significantly reduced my ADHD symptoms it significantly unmasked my autistic traits, my family and friends started to mention this, and I personally struggled with much higher anxiety, social isolation, lower self-esteem, greater questioning in my head, much greater risk aversion, etc. As this wasn't working I have since worked with the help of my prescriber to come off of the ADHD medication, which was the right step for me personally. I have found that AuDHD is very less well understood and much less discussed than either ASD or ADHD, and as the conditions can mask and effect each other I have found that knowing I have both, and considering how these affect me differently, affect each other, and how treating one impacts the other, has been really helpful in working out what works for me. This was revelatory, as similar to when I realised that neurotypical treatments wouldn't necessarily work for me and that this wasn't my fault and I wasn't broken because of this, I now feel the same when ADHD or ASD treatments or techniques don't work, and instead cast my net wider to look for answers and trial different approaches and blends of different approaches to find what works for me. Hopefully some of this was either of use, or at least helps you feel less like you're the only one experiencing this.
I'm a retired teacher who was working on special education certification with an endorsement for autism. People with autism are sometimes misdiagnosed with ADHD. It's also entirely possible that you have both ADHD and autism. I myself have previously been misdiagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder. While the clinicians in question were technically correct, as it turned out, depression and social anxiety disorder were both symptoms of autism. I wound up not being clinically diagnosed until I was 60. This was nearly four years ago.
In answer to your question, what should you do about your family concerns, why not seek a clinical diagnosis?
Hi and welcome to the community!
The NAS's diagnosis hub has lots of information that you might find helpful.
Three articles that immediately spring to mind as perhaps being the most relevant at this stage are:
NAS - Signs that a child or adult may be autistic
NAS - Deciding whether to seek an autism assessment
NAS - How to request an autism assessment
In respect of your upcoming therapy, several of us here - myself included - have found this book very helpful indeed. It might be worth considering buying or borrowing it before your therapy starts, in order that you can get the most out of it:
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy