Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi My name is Finley I am extremely socially awkward due to the following issues.
( 1 ) I am often in my own world.
( 2 ) I am terrible at starting convos and when I do I often stall ( meaning the words I really want to stay get stuck in my head like printing paper often gets jammed and I don't say the words and immediately give up trying to say them.
( 3 ) fearing that I don't look interesting or intrested in talking to - as sometimes I am in a room or space where everyone is talking to each other and not talking to me or coming over to talk to me.
( 4 ) intimated by the fact that there Is a lot of stuff that I feel like I should know about but don't because it doesn't meet my interests ( if you understand what I mean ) this makes me even more socially awkward because I can't contribute to something I know little or nothing about
( 5 ) afraid of making jokes incase of doing it wrong and fearing being laughed or mocked for it.
Has anyone else felt like this. if so how do you tackle this? thanks.
Hi thanks for all your responses so far. I have been patiently waiting for comments to observe, and I appreciate the time that each and everyone has taken out to reply. The reason for this thread is that I have a work party tomorrow. and I am wondering how to keep things flowing ( meaning not convincing myself that no one is interested in me so don't bother engaging if you know what I mean ) I have colleagues that I talk to on a daily basis and need to have plan just incase I can;t find them as quick as I think I will In my head. further advice on the original thread questions very much greatfully appreciated.
I understand how clumsiness can be frustrating, especially when it seems constant. I've had similar moments, like spilling drinks or dropping things unexpectedly. It’s helpful to share these experiences and find support from others going through the same thing. Thanks for bringing this up; it’s good to know we’re not alone in dealing with these everyday challenges.
I am the female version of you. Just diagnosed ADHD but I think there's more. I score very highly in ASD tests but I don't think my Dr will think I am. I've masked since I was a child. People are my special interest. I have NO friends and no family, so I don't think diagnosis is possible as there are no childhoodreferencesor evidence. I've spent 5 decades being socially awkward. You are not alone. If it wasn't for forums like this, I would be chronically and pitifully lonely. I'm okay with this way of communication, but in public it's a different story. I'm more or less a hermit.
I find it very hard to initiate conversations, but will do my best to respond if spoken to first. Unfortunately I have a voice that sounds as though I'm a total idiot, and I am very uncharismatic . Most people soon get fed up talking to me.
I often miss cues that a conversation is done its course or that it should be continuing which is tough as a cashier as its 50% scanning and dealing with money 50% being sociable
I sometimes make a joke that would get a laugh if others did but people take me seriously
I can make eye contact but it's tough to do so but also dont know if it's too much
I suffer major phone anxiety .. yet I'm ok talking on cb radio perhaps its because phone calls are formal?
I like talking to others but dislike the expectations of a friendship I always have but it's only in recent years I stopped "hanging out" to please others
I only have a small number if friends I'd go for a drink with but I cant cope with talking one headset while gaming (which I now know is sensory overload but I used to just assume it was because I wanted to hear my game)
Hey, I am brand new to autism and just joined. Just reaching out to let you know I feel the exact same way as you on all of your points.
I just learned about the concept of the "double empathy problem" and I really feel like it's valid. I've had these thoughts many times before learning about it. Like I see flaws in how most people communicate just like they see flaws in how I communicate and if neurotypical people were more like me it would be easier. Unfortunately I have not really spoken to any autistic people in my life and just found out that I'm autistic but I've heard it's easier.
So maybe my takeaway is to just accept your differences and don't feel bad of you can't communicate well with normal people. Communication is a two way street and they're responsible for the failure as well. Find people where it's easy, maybe other autistic people. I'm really curious if that would work lol. Or maybe just very calm, patient, accepting people.
Someone please let me know if they disagree. I'm just learning and working through my thoughts.
It's a form of masking, for me; talking local language. However, I do feel vulnerable when in public. The fear of something bad happening.
For so long, I was told off for my public persona. Now I just limit social contact for set times.
If I knew how to tackle my social issues I would have a tackled them. Instead I spend my days online. A devastated shell of a man.
I often experience words just dropping out of my ready-access memory, in mid sentence, during conversations. I found that working on my vocabulary helped a lot as there were usually synonyms available to replace any word that was temporarily unavailable.
Knowing a little about a very wide range of subjects helps to keep conversations going with all sorts of people.