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Greetings programs!**

Mark (formerly Spikey)
2 months ago

Hello,

After many years (50+), I finally have an official diagnosis. I've hung around here a bit to get the lay of the land but up until yesterday, I did not feel that I had the right to contribute.

I am happily married to my beautiful NT* partner of over 20 years. (I hope that this diagnosis will help even more, explaining things like why I would just *have to* leave social events without any notice - always a big point of contention) *Actually, she's dyslexic, maybe I should say allistic.

I was lucky in that I had a great family this didn't try to change me too much and let me just get on with it. I am lucky that I have a great in-law family that doesn't try to change me and just let me get on with it too.

I am lucky that I don't have meltdowns, but unlucky because it is all internalised and I have shutdowns and I have been burned out for several years now (causing the journey to my diagnosis)

I didn't think I stimmed, but it gradually dawned that my permanently bouncing leg and ravaged finger cuticles with little flaps of peeling skin said otherwise.

Why "Spikey"? - because I was pretty pleased with my ADOS-2 test story of Spikey the ball going for a ride in a car, putting up an umbrella, finding a playing card in the car and then using a paperclip to keep them together from then on. I think it should be a Netflix series - ha ha.

What I lack in confrontation skills, I more than make up for with extreme stubbornness.

I have a fairly typical story of feeling different to everyone else my entire life. Reading other people's stories, I related a little bit more with some of the ladies due to me being high masking.

Fern Brady's stand-up and TV/Podcast appearances have really helped me a lot recently.

I also heartily recommend Steph Jones's "The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy", which I think would help a lot of people here after reading some of your posts. (It explains why many of the typical therapy 'fixes' don't work for us. Who doesn't like some validation?! It's a great book.)

Thanks for listening!

**Tron (1982) was probably my special interest when I was a youngster - even writing a program on m ZX Spectrum that emulated Kevin Flynn's entire logon experience from the film - no, my password is no longer "Reindeer Flotilla"

Parents
  • 2 months ago

    Welcome Spikey! Love how you chose the name from your ados assessment task. Sounds like you had better use of the items than I did! I just simply went “the red car drove to the yellow house”, and disregarded the other items I chose lol. I could have done a better job but it felt so awkward!!

    You absolutely have the right to contribute, so please do. Your story has already resonated with me, and that in itself is a helpful contribution. 

    I relate to a lot of what you say, I don’t really have meltdowns but learnt that I shutdown instead. And I thought that I don’t stim, but learnt that my “fidgeting” is stimming. I too find a relate more with females who are high masking. So it nice to hear than come from another man.

    I love Fern Brady, I read her book Strong Female Character and found it very helpful. 

    I will check out your recommendation to Steph Jones also Slight smile

    anyway, welcome, and hope to see you around more in this forum 

  • 2 months ago in reply to Andy

    Thanks AJ90UK. Yes, your red card drove to the yellow house is another Netflix series in the making - ha ha. Fern's book is brilliant, and now my wife thinks that I have a bit of a crush. It's hard to explain that she's just related so much stuff that is familiar so *obviously* I'm going to watch every single appearance Slight smile It's not just purely the autism late diagnosis, but the being raised a catholic in a poor area and stuff like that are so familiar that she has me laughing my socks off - which translates outwardly to me actually cracking a smile Slight smile

  • 2 months ago in reply to Mark (formerly Spikey)

    PS That's a beautiful cat that you have. Sadly I'm allergic as otherwise having a cat would be so ideal for me.

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