Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
After many years (50+), I finally have an official diagnosis. I've hung around here a bit to get the lay of the land but up until yesterday, I did not feel that I had the right to contribute.
I am happily married to my beautiful NT* partner of over 20 years. (I hope that this diagnosis will help even more, explaining things like why I would just *have to* leave social events without any notice - always a big point of contention) *Actually, she's dyslexic, maybe I should say allistic.
I was lucky in that I had a great family this didn't try to change me too much and let me just get on with it. I am lucky that I have a great in-law family that doesn't try to change me and just let me get on with it too.
I am lucky that I don't have meltdowns, but unlucky because it is all internalised and I have shutdowns and I have been burned out for several years now (causing the journey to my diagnosis)
I didn't think I stimmed, but it gradually dawned that my permanently bouncing leg and ravaged finger cuticles with little flaps of peeling skin said otherwise.
Why "Spikey"? - because I was pretty pleased with my ADOS-2 test story of Spikey the ball going for a ride in a car, putting up an umbrella, finding a playing card in the car and then using a paperclip to keep them together from then on. I think it should be a Netflix series - ha ha.
What I lack in confrontation skills, I more than make up for with extreme stubbornness.
I have a fairly typical story of feeling different to everyone else my entire life. Reading other people's stories, I related a little bit more with some of the ladies due to me being high masking.
Fern Brady's stand-up and TV/Podcast appearances have really helped me a lot recently.
I also heartily recommend Steph Jones's "The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy", which I think would help a lot of people here after reading some of your posts. (It explains why many of the typical therapy 'fixes' don't work for us. Who doesn't like some validation?! It's a great book.)
Thanks for listening!
**Tron (1982) was probably my special interest when I was a youngster - even writing a program on m ZX Spectrum that emulated Kevin Flynn's entire logon experience from the film - no, my password is no longer "Reindeer Flotilla"
Welcome and congratulations on your diagnosis!
I second your book recommendation; it was the first one that I bought following my own diagnosis last year :)
Thanks Bunny. Yes it is such a good book. I want to buy a copy for all the people that I have seen these past few years. All were well meaning and I luckily I didn't have the Veronica that Steph had, but in the end it was me that diagnosed myself when the signs were all there for them to see (Them: "Take deep breaths and describe where you feel such and such" - Me: "I'm not very good at knowing where feelings and sensations are". Or, me: "I'm not very good at eye contact when I'm the one talking" - them: "let's try to train you not to feel this 'fear'") Yes, the signs were all there. The book should really be required reading for all therapists.