Struggling to live normal life with autism

Lately I’ve been feeling extremely down about my life,I don’t do much I just stay at home everyday and I wanted to make a change to better myself. I knew I probably wasn’t gonna manage it but I forced myself because it feels so sad not being able to do the things other people my age can do, I want to work I want to have friends but I can’t hold anything for long and I’m struggling to cope with entering adult hood with my autism. I feel so useless and like I can’t do anything so I back out of these job offers and opportunities because I end up having meltdowns and shutdown I’m really lost on what to do I can’t continue like this but I don’t know how to get the right support to help me live a normal life.