Struggling to live normal life with autism

If you get out and mingle with the world, even if you don't really "feel" like it, you will encounter things that may attract and/ or repel you. GO out and see what's out there. You may find your niche.

If you stay apart from the world you will not be exposed to that which would bring you joy.

The rest you can just leave be, like at a buffet. It's like a buffet!

Try out out some new 'dishes', try on new kinds of experiences and situations.

There will be change, and that is no fun, but it's a gauntlet worth running to reach a richer, happier life.

<Oh and don't let anyone be the boss of you or tell you what you want. You decide and don't feel rushed or feel like you have to stick to one thing.> –not that I'm telling you what to do. ;-).

As Saint Mary Euphraisa once said “bend down deeply into the priceless waters of prayer” - in cases like these, constant prayer and reflection is highly recommended, as is praying the Rosary and reading the Bible daily 

I often think these things myself and then as others have said here,  I realise there isn't a normal.

Normal is probably more accurately the "accepted" or "most common" or "average". But even if you say 30 or 40 percent of the population is similar enough to be average or normal, I'd bet half of that 40 percent are autistic people masking or other NDs hiding it well, along with a handful of other people with "issues".

Try and see life as a big soup of difference. Then try and look at your positives. 

Try not to be too hard on yourself, As it's also been said on this thread, you are perfectly capable of doing any job you put your mind to. It might be insanely hard, it might be easy, but you could do it, likely better than "normal" people too, because autistic hyperfocus is something you can weaponise in those circumstances, along with many other traits that are useful.

And don't rush, take your time, there's no rules about what you have to do by certain ages, do what suits you at the time and don't measure yourself against others, someone will always appear to be doing better but it's often an illusion. 

We can spend a lot, too much in fact, time comparing ourselves and worrying what others think of us, chances are they probably don't think of us much if at all, so don't spend too much time trying to impress "them".

It'll all come together,  you just have to have some faith in yourself. 

__Pathfinder__ said:

LOL.  Way to sell your fellow Autist down the river.

I started out stacking shelves in a supermarket when I was 15 and by 17 was working in a warehouse unloading roll pallets from trucks all day.

This is simple work but it doesn't make it demeaning. For some it may just be stress free enough to be what will work for them, hence its inclusion on the list.

__Pathfinder__ said:

When you get to 50, then you can worry.  But until then, get drunk, find a woman (and yes finding a woman while sober as a person with ASD is hard), get married (or don't), have kids.

Wait, you missed a stereotype or two - how about get a house and dog...?

How about suggesting they find a way to learn how to understand themselves and live a life that has meaning for them without the need to abuse alcohol, conform to hertrosexual tropes (you assume they are male) and the institutional ties of marriage and children, most of which bring challanges for autists.

Life has so many other possibilities in this day and age.

__Pathfinder__ said:

Any job an NT does, you can do better.

I can't agree with this. A lot of jobs would be very unsuitable for a person with poor social skills for example. Think of sales, event managers, host/hostess in a club, diplomat and people manager.

For those with low thresholds to anxiety would suffer terribly from jobs as a London cabbie, market trader in a competitive market or a negotiations closer in sales.

Loads of other autistic traits bring their own challenges so it is down to the OP to consider possible jobs and which ones align with their needs and interests rather being told they can be great in any job - your way leads to meltdown and loss of self esteem in most cases.

Iain said:

grocery bagger

LOL.  Way to sell your fellow Autist down the river.

Honestly you can do better than that.  Any job an NT does, you can do better.  We are wired that way.  But saying that we also have a ton of baggage.

@OP, you are young, go out and enjoy your life.  When you get to 50, then you can worry.  But until then, get drunk, find a woman (and yes finding a woman while sober as a person with ASD is hard), get married (or don't), have kids.  You know do the usual stuff.  Get a job and yes you can get a job.  If a reprobate like me can get a job, you can too.  In what is your choice.  What did you want to be at school?

There is no normal.

I’m surprised the NAS or others have not designed modular online course around these very issues, especially given that there is no post diagnostic assessments and therefore people have no idea as to their support needs going forward 

NAS92227 said:

I’m really lost on what to do I can’t continue like this

It will help to stop thinking of the life you are trying to lead as being "normal".

It is a way of life for people who have differently wired brains to you, so trying to match this is probably like trying to compete in a formula 1 race using a family hatchback.

You can find a career still but it needs to mould itself to your needs and ideally wants so a carefully considered approach is needed.

I would start by drawing up a list of the things you don't like to do (because they cause too much anxiety) and those you do like - then start to consider what careers could offer mosly the thinks in the "like" column with least in the "don't like" column.

I drew up a list of possible careers that work for autists - some won't be for you but some might so see if anything stirrs and interest:

administrative assistant
analyst
bus driver
chemist
claims processor
college professor
computer programmer
consultant
creative writer
customer service representative
data entry clerk
editor
electrician
engineer
fine artist
geographic information system (GIS) technician
graphic artist
grocery bagger
laboratory technician
lawyer
librarian
meteorologist
nurse
paralegal
personal assistant
physician
physicist
political canvasser
production manager
records manager
reporter
retail sales associate
sales manager
screenwriter
sound technician
supply chain manager
teacher (adult education)
teacher (early childhood)
technical documentation writer
veterinarian
warehouse worker
web developer.

It is an eclectic mix but will some entries will appeal to special interests.

From this we can try to come up with suggestions in how to get into the field of interest.

It will be a slow start but that gives time to find something you really feels gels with your autism.

I feel the same way sometimes, it is just a question of finding the right balance and support.