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My autistic partner wants my adult sons to leave home..not sure how to handle a discussion without him losing his temper.

NAS93981
4 months ago
  1. Hi everyone. I have joined the site as I am struggling with my autistic partner of 2.5 years. He has recently been increasingly obssessed with getting me to have my sons to leave home. He gets angry saying we should be alone and if things don't change he will leave. He moved in with us a couple of years ago and has time has gone on seems to be increasingly controlling and bad tempered. Is this typical behaviour or is it something else? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 
Parents
  • 4 months ago
    NAS93981 said:
    Is this typical behaviour or is it something else

    I don't think it is typical. It is understandable however - but also not really acceptable.

    To help us gain some context, what age are your children and do they have any special needs? This will help identify whether they are quite capable of moving on to look after themselves or not.

    Were there any discussions early on in the relationship about it being just you two alone?

    I suspect it is most likely because you have moved on from the honeymoon phase and the children are being an annoyance he is not willing to tolerate much longer. Since they don't appear to be his biological offspring then he wants them gone and you all to himself.

    I suspect it will be time to have a direct conversation about expectations and reasons - probably developing to couples counselling and possible separation as your expectations no longer align. This is all guesswork of course based on other couples I have known - every case if different.

Reply
  • 4 months ago
    NAS93981 said:
    Is this typical behaviour or is it something else

    I don't think it is typical. It is understandable however - but also not really acceptable.

    To help us gain some context, what age are your children and do they have any special needs? This will help identify whether they are quite capable of moving on to look after themselves or not.

    Were there any discussions early on in the relationship about it being just you two alone?

    I suspect it is most likely because you have moved on from the honeymoon phase and the children are being an annoyance he is not willing to tolerate much longer. Since they don't appear to be his biological offspring then he wants them gone and you all to himself.

    I suspect it will be time to have a direct conversation about expectations and reasons - probably developing to couples counselling and possible separation as your expectations no longer align. This is all guesswork of course based on other couples I have known - every case if different.

Children
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