Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
I got diagnosed last week and I am 58; It wasnt a surprise but it has still affected me deeply. I am trying to accept and understand the diagnosis and I am having good moments and bad moments.
I work as a manager and I struggle and although I try to do my best I find certain aspects of my job really distressing. I want to ask for adjustments. I want to be exempt from all day training sessions as all day is just so hard for me and I get very anxious and cannot sit still or concentrate. I have to complete supervisions with all of my staff every month and I have 14 employees I manage. I find supervisions really hard and I often cancel and reschedule them and I dread doing them sometimes especially with colleagues that I find it hard to understand in terms of their motives and what they want from me. I want to ask if I can do supervisions once every 2 months rather than monthly. I feel this would give me some breathing space and also, would stop me getting so exhausted and anxious.
Has anyone got experience of asking for adjustments? The organisation I work for is inclusive and understanding of disability but I still feel anxious about asking for what I need.
NAS86677 said:I am trying to accept and understand the diagnosis
It is just an explanation for all the behaviours you exhibit and your experience of the rest of the world - it changes nothing in itself.
Think of it as a really good opportunity for you to work out which autistic traits are causing you issue and find ways to cope better with them.
NAS86677 said:I work as a manager
NAS86677 said: I find supervisions really hard and I often cancel and reschedule them and I dread doing them sometimes especially with colleagues that I find it hard to understand in terms of their motives and what they want from me.
This sounds like a pretty integral part of your job and not something you can get out of.
I assume you are going to notify the People team of your diagnosis so you can ask for the Reasonable Adjustments, so are you willing to share the diagnosis with the staff too?
In your situation (I was an IT manager too when diagnosed) I would tell the team that in their meetings that they need to use SMART for all their requests so you can be clear what is being asked for. You need to do the same back to them.
For the laymen out there, SMART is an acronym for defining how to clearly form a request. It needs to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.
It is typically used in project related scenarios but works well in this situation too.
Give them forms laid out in this format and offer help the first few times they use it to get into the swing of it and it should help make communications in a way you can easily work with.
This is one of the adjustments I would ask for from both your manager and the People team.
As for the training stuff - if they offer multiple of the same courses then ask to do half one day and one the next session. Otherwise you have managed so far so it may just be one of these things you need to live with.
You could also ask for online courses where you can pause and do in your own time and do them at home over a much longer working day with lots of breaks.