Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
I got diagnosed last week and I am 58; It wasnt a surprise but it has still affected me deeply. I am trying to accept and understand the diagnosis and I am having good moments and bad moments.
I work as a manager and I struggle and although I try to do my best I find certain aspects of my job really distressing. I want to ask for adjustments. I want to be exempt from all day training sessions as all day is just so hard for me and I get very anxious and cannot sit still or concentrate. I have to complete supervisions with all of my staff every month and I have 14 employees I manage. I find supervisions really hard and I often cancel and reschedule them and I dread doing them sometimes especially with colleagues that I find it hard to understand in terms of their motives and what they want from me. I want to ask if I can do supervisions once every 2 months rather than monthly. I feel this would give me some breathing space and also, would stop me getting so exhausted and anxious.
Has anyone got experience of asking for adjustments? The organisation I work for is inclusive and understanding of disability but I still feel anxious about asking for what I need.
I have asked for adjustments at work before for autism. Please let me give some advice:
1. Being late diagnosed like me, I'll bet its been quite a shock. I would actually reccomend you DON'T ask for adjustments straight away as its likely in a few months time you'll identify more adjustments that might help as you're more familiar with your diagnosis. The process of asking for adjustments will likely involve meetings that'll cause routine disruption so I'd say wait 2 or 3 months at least before asking to let yourself decompress (unless you think your job is in jeapordy if you don't ask)
2. Document everything in writing. If you have any conversations asking for adjustments in person, write down the exact dates this happened and what was discussed. Take your own notes (never let the company take notes for you, they don't always allow you to see them afterwards) and follow up every discussion with an email e.g. "Following up our discussion today about reasonable adjustments I wanted to clarify when my adjustments of x and x will be implemented so we have a record of what was discussed"
If your company discriminates against you later this evidence will be important.
2. Make it as clear as you can when discussing adjustments that you are still the same colleague as before, these adjustments will help you do your job better. Say you're willing to talk with your managers about autism and answer any questions they may have.
3. If the company aren't listening to you, ask for adjustments again in writing and mention they are legally obliged to give reasonable adjustments under The Equality Act 2010 if its reasonable for both you and the company. This is usually sufficient to scare large companies into action.
4. "well its favouritism" "you're making more work for your colleagues" "you don't look disabled" are all potential discrimination.
Scope the disability charity also have a very helpful page on this topic. https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/reasonable-adjustments-at-work/ also check out ACAS, they're free to call and have a responsive email.
I think you'll be able to get exemption from all day training (or perhaps compromise to a half day) but I don't think you'll get out of supervision as to me that sounds pretty integral to the job of manager unfortunately.
oh yeah, i have experience of asking for adjustments. they pretty much reject them, try to be fussy and make worse things on purpose for you, then try to claim your unfit for the job lol so then you have to snap back at them and say you done it for so many years so have proved you can do it. then you end up stuck in your same position anyway no adjustment.
NAS86677 said:I am trying to accept and understand the diagnosis
It is just an explanation for all the behaviours you exhibit and your experience of the rest of the world - it changes nothing in itself.
Think of it as a really good opportunity for you to work out which autistic traits are causing you issue and find ways to cope better with them.
NAS86677 said:I work as a manager
NAS86677 said: I find supervisions really hard and I often cancel and reschedule them and I dread doing them sometimes especially with colleagues that I find it hard to understand in terms of their motives and what they want from me.
This sounds like a pretty integral part of your job and not something you can get out of.
I assume you are going to notify the People team of your diagnosis so you can ask for the Reasonable Adjustments, so are you willing to share the diagnosis with the staff too?
In your situation (I was an IT manager too when diagnosed) I would tell the team that in their meetings that they need to use SMART for all their requests so you can be clear what is being asked for. You need to do the same back to them.
For the laymen out there, SMART is an acronym for defining how to clearly form a request. It needs to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.
It is typically used in project related scenarios but works well in this situation too.
Give them forms laid out in this format and offer help the first few times they use it to get into the swing of it and it should help make communications in a way you can easily work with.
This is one of the adjustments I would ask for from both your manager and the People team.
As for the training stuff - if they offer multiple of the same courses then ask to do half one day and one the next session. Otherwise you have managed so far so it may just be one of these things you need to live with.
You could also ask for online courses where you can pause and do in your own time and do them at home over a much longer working day with lots of breaks.