Female autism? Undiagnosed

Thanks so much, this is really helpful. I have made a long list of all of difficulties and add to it as they occur to me. I definitely have a brain that doesn't stop. Since becoming a mum, I've been trapped inside fear-based negative thought cycles.

You're right, being unaware is part and parcel. I thought I was a very self aware person but apparently not so!

I would buy a notebook and start writing down the ways you’ve experience social and communication issues. 

the DSM is a guidepost. It’s written for those looking at what the medical field calls a symptom, or a surfacing factor which signals something going on in the biology which cannot be seen. All external things we can see are symptoms even of good health. 

I would disagree on several counts about the words chosen as they’re how Neurotypical individuals might act or respond or even misidentify when it comes to autism. 

the communication difference is one of 3 key important differences in wiring. The other 2 I would suggest to look at are sensory processing (hyper-sensory) and a brain that doesn’t stop. Look at monotropism.org 

Being unaware of how different we are is part and parcel. Many of us don’t “mask” nor do I believe this is a useful term as everyone masks. The autistic attempt to fit in with a poor ability to easily mimic means we have to work extra hard and consciously make decisions rather than intuit those around us. Empathy is a mind reading tool at best, at worst researchers have described it as an “Emotional Contagion”. Jung described it as a projection. Sympathy and Compassion far outweigh it in my book. 

Ne6us said:

I saw my GP but diagnosis isn't available for adults in NZ. We have to pay to have it done privately. 

That's a bummer, though a lot of people choose to go private in the UK because the NHS is such a slow pathway to diagnosis. Some people choose to self diagnose though and that works for them. It depends on the individual.

I self diagnosed at first, really confident I was autistic, and then a few years later I decided to go for an official diagnosis.

Whatever you decide you'll be accepted here and I hope it brings you happiness.

My score was 136 but much higher in the social relatedness section. Interestingly, there were things I thought I didn't have problems with (empathy etc) but my husband completely disagreed!

New Zealand dollars. Yeah I know, it's silly money. The health system here is backed up too. They'll do kids' diagnoses but not adults. I just really want answers and to know that I'm not imagining this, that there's a reason for all my difficulties other than my own inadequacy. I also check the majority of boxes on Samantha Craft’s unofficial female autism checklist...

I scored 136. My score for social relatedness was way higher than for sensory or interests. I guess the only way to find out is to go for assessment.

I saw my GP but diagnosis isn't available for adults in NZ. We have to pay to have it done privately. 

ahhh dollar sign are you american?
yeah without the free nhs diagnosis id not advise anyone to actually pay for one as thats alot of money. but anyone who can get it free id always say go for it, but it will be a 8 year wait, maybe longer now as i have told everyone to go for it and now the nhs has everyone qued up on their system lol

but yeah id never personally pay for a diagnosis, to me i can use that money in better ways. living, chocolate, a new gaming pc, gold bullion, investing, savings... 

That test is a great starting point. I did it first when I was suspecting I was autistic and then because my score seemed to point to it, I decided to get in touch with my GP and got the assessment/diagnosis ball rolling.

Yes of course! It’s always worth to learn and find out / get tested if you suspect you might be there. For me it’s out of reach currently, but I hope I can do it in the future. 

I just did the AQ and got 36 so may be worth getting tested

Thanks I'll try it. I've done many online assessments and I'm just not sure if  overstating my sensory issues

Thank you!

I’m not diagnosed, but I filled quite many different tests. RAADS R got 170 points, AQ few times, there were also high results 40-45. If you understand things literally, have issues to understand the hidden point, have misunderstandings on this field, if you stick to the routine, if you feel like you lack a manual in social interactions and you often repeat what to say / script conversations, you feel awkward, and many others… it may be the evidence of Autism spectrum. You can also watch on YouTube, there are many channels but I think one of the best is “Autism from the inside” led by Paul Michalleff from Australia. There are also a lot of things to look for from the childhood. When it comes to sensitivities it’s a wide topic. There may be light and sound, also smells, touch, also clumsiness (as a hypo sensitivity). For me if it’s only a little sunny, I put sunglasses on. It’s not only the sunshine that irritates and makes my eyes aching, there are also reflexes of it. I also squint in shops with bright lights and white walls. When it comes to sounds I can hear ticking clocks and it drives me crazy because I concentrate on it so much that I can’t fall asleep. Also often breaths of other people annoy me, especially in silence. I can’t tolerate the noise, screams and other explosive noises my daughter makes and I got panic attacks from that which led me to using earplugs at home. Everyone is different. I don’t have many issues with touch but I avoid clothes made of light fabric with ruffles I wear basic ones, cotton and no jewellery as it irritates me a lot and causes tics. 

A good starting point would be the RAADS R test.

This formed part of my assessment. 

Link below:

https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/