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Female autism? Undiagnosed

Ne6us

Hi there everyone,

I've just joined and wanted to say hi and ask if there are any women/girls on this forum who have been diagnosed with autism. Could you please share a little around your traits that contributed to your diagnosis? I know that females often have the tendency to 'mask', which sometimes leads to misdiagnosis. I haven't been assessed and am unsure whether to go forward with it because it is so very expensive here in NZ. I would like to be diagnosed but I'm not sure if I have autism or just another social communication disorder.

 I've been looking at the DSM 5 diagnosis manual. It says you need to have 2 out of 4 of the following criteria: 1. Repetitive motor movements etc (ie stims), 2. Insistence on sameness, 3. Highly restricted interests, 4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input.

Well, I don't have number 2 I don't think. The closest things I have to 3 are being obsessed with spelling and grammar, which I've become more laid back with now, and a very good memory for 20th century song lyrics/tunes. These probably fall within the neurotypical range.

I think I have number 1: my stims are incessant humming, especially when stressed or excited, clacking my teeth and moving the spit around in my mouth (sorry, gross). Is that enough? Does it have to be visible stims?

I think I have number 4 too, hypersensitivity - I hate bright sunlight in my eyes (but hey doesn't everyone?), I'm very sensitive to bad smells, and now I have children I really struggle with the chaos/noise/being touched etc. that comes with the territory. I also sniff things lol and pick at my skin etc.

I'm wondering, if I go to a practitioner with these things alongside all my communication and social difficulties, will they say it's not enough? Is anyone out there similar to me and has been diagnosed? My niece has been diagnosed with level 1 autism and she visibly stims, needs the same routines etc so it's clear that she was going to get a diagnosis. Likewise my good friend (male) who has just been diagnosed. I don't want to go and pay $3000 to be told that it's not autism. Not looking for medical advice as I know it's against forum rules. Just interested in other people's experiences. Thanks so much in advance for sharing. <3

Parents

  • I would buy a notebook and start writing down the ways you’ve experience social and communication issues. 

    the DSM is a guidepost. It’s written for those looking at what the medical field calls a symptom, or a surfacing factor which signals something going on in the biology which cannot be seen. All external things we can see are symptoms even of good health. 

    I would disagree on several counts about the words chosen as they’re how Neurotypical individuals might act or respond or even misidentify when it comes to autism. 

    the communication difference is one of 3 key important differences in wiring. The other 2 I would suggest to look at are sensory processing (hyper-sensory) and a brain that doesn’t stop. Look at monotropism.org 

    Being unaware of how different we are is part and parcel. Many of us don’t “mask” nor do I believe this is a useful term as everyone masks. The autistic attempt to fit in with a poor ability to easily mimic means we have to work extra hard and consciously make decisions rather than intuit those around us. Empathy is a mind reading tool at best, at worst researchers have described it as an “Emotional Contagion”. Jung described it as a projection. Sympathy and Compassion far outweigh it in my book. 

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  • I would buy a notebook and start writing down the ways you’ve experience social and communication issues. 

    the DSM is a guidepost. It’s written for those looking at what the medical field calls a symptom, or a surfacing factor which signals something going on in the biology which cannot be seen. All external things we can see are symptoms even of good health. 

    I would disagree on several counts about the words chosen as they’re how Neurotypical individuals might act or respond or even misidentify when it comes to autism. 

    the communication difference is one of 3 key important differences in wiring. The other 2 I would suggest to look at are sensory processing (hyper-sensory) and a brain that doesn’t stop. Look at monotropism.org 

    Being unaware of how different we are is part and parcel. Many of us don’t “mask” nor do I believe this is a useful term as everyone masks. The autistic attempt to fit in with a poor ability to easily mimic means we have to work extra hard and consciously make decisions rather than intuit those around us. Empathy is a mind reading tool at best, at worst researchers have described it as an “Emotional Contagion”. Jung described it as a projection. Sympathy and Compassion far outweigh it in my book. 

Children
  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Thanks so much, this is really helpful. I have made a long list of all of difficulties and add to it as they occur to me. I definitely have a brain that doesn't stop. Since becoming a mum, I've been trapped inside fear-based negative thought cycles.

    You're right, being unaware is part and parcel. I thought I was a very self aware person but apparently not so!