Published on 12, July, 2020
I am the mother of a 12 year old autistic son and I am also currently waiting for my own ASD assessment. Our son started mainstream secondary education in September and for the first 2 weeks he settled in really well but then it totally went downhill. Many of my sons teachers are still expecting him to conform, they are aware of his autism and have access to his autism passport, but his behaviours are just seen as a challenge and it's not being looked into why he is being triggered and what they can do in a positive way to address his needs. Recently his behaviour has escalated which includes hitting, spitting, kicking and putting his hands round other pupils necks. The School are taking a blanket approach with his behaviour which means he is taken out of class for 2 days and put in what is called 'inclusion', this does not take into consideration whether it's the right thing to do for his needs it's just done because that is the rule of the School. My son is really unhappy at School and is very angry with what he feels that he's being forced into. My son has no educational needs he is high functioning but this comes with it's own challenges, he does not like doing work that he finds uninteresting or boring and this is resulting in conflict with the teachers. We have a meeting planned within school after half term, but I'm worried that they won't take on board what we are saying and the fact that I feel that my son is being indirectly discriminated against. My son also turns 13 in September so we also have the added challenge of hormones coming into play as well as his neuro diversity.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as we are really struggling and as a mother I am deeply distressed.
Understandably your son has autism, but the school is concerned with the wellbeing of all students under their care, and it's one thing to be bored and uninterested, but it's another thing to be physically harming other students, and if he cannot control his own hands, and you cannot control him, nor the school, then people are at risk of injury. I mean, I would be scared as a mother, if another student was taking out their anger on my child, and no one ever sends their child to school, and expects them to get injured like that by another student. Student safety comes first.
Maybe your son needs something to focus his energy on, like a sport, martial arts, running, dancing, just something in order to get rid of the excess energy he has, so that he can actually calm down enough to focus. Or maybe he just needs a more active environment in order to learn. Hopefully you and your son finds the right environment for him to learn and get the best education from.