Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I’d welcome advice on how to navigate a situation in my relationship. I’m NT married to spouse who’s realised he’s ND as part of the process of getting a diagnosis for one of our children. This seems to be awakening a lot of bitterness as spouse looks back on past through a different lens, and it often feels like a lot of resentment is projected on to me. I think we need to work all this through with a counsellor and have found someone with expertise and experience of working with ND clients. But I’m scared of suggesting - a) because spouse will think I’m evading responsibility for problems they attribute to my flaws, and b) because worry spouse will think I need them to change or aM rejecting them for being ND - I don’t and I’m not. I just need us to communicate better and to talk these difficult things through without a row.
Two people involved in this. You and them. Do what you can.....CALMLY. If it goes titsup, you have already found the suitable 3rd party to get involved. You are evidently prepared and organised. This is GOOD! Don't fear your abilities.....if your partner is ND and you are NT....you obviously have a successful means of communication - it's not like this is your third date!!
Be brave, be calm......try to talk it out.
Just my opinion, for what that's worth.......and I wish you the best of luck in any event.
Kindest regards
Number.
Thanks so much - it’s quite validating to be told all of that and validation is in short supply for me
Thank you
Worrier said:and validation is in short supply for me
Not here, it's not.
You've evidently been with your partner long enough to procreate. You've noticed an issue, and are doing everything sensible to prepare for it. You write cogently and with fluidity.
For what it's worth.....I think you are gonna be fine.
Notwithstanding, I am grateful for you kind words in my direction too.
Godspeed.