Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
My name is Barry and I have difficulties with social situations and a couple of other issues but there is no help that I am aware of in my locality.
I am 67, married for 45 years, and retired after working in finance in the civil service. As a child I only had a maximum of one friend at a time, while my siblings were gregarious and had no difficulties. After getting married at 20 yrs, my wife has been my sole friend and soul mate. We have two adult sons. At work I was able to satisfy all my socialising needs but was not able to take work relationships outside of the workplace and I avoided work socials where the easily understood rules of the workplace were relaxed. Since retiring I have been isolated apart from with my wife. It is not that I don't like people, quite the opposite, but I don't seem to be able to connect beyond pleasantries.
I tend to focus on interests, spending a lot of time researching in the area of my current favourite, looking around at other things but coming back to a favoured few.
I have had a reasonably successful career and happy life in most ways and do not consider myself to be strange or unusual. I completed an OU degree last year, graduating with first class honours.
Sorry for this download but at times I get quite desparate to figure out why my life experience is as it is. Does my situation make any sense to anyone?
Barry
Welcome to your autistic community.
Many people like yourself are only just starting to discover their autistic identity later in life. If you are autistic it doesn't mean there is something wrong, only that your brain works differently to the neurotypical majority. Finally understanding why you are different can be life changing at any age. Different is not wrong.
The Embrace Autism site has lots of online tests you can do. If the results of those indicate autism you may decide to self identify or you can consider going through the assessment process. Even if you do put yourself through the assessment process, which can take years, you are very unlikely to find any help or support available.
https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/
There are loads of good resources online to help you learn more about autism and how the autistic brain works.
The Neuroclastic site is a good place to start and they have produced a very comprehensive explanatory document:
https://neuroclastic.com/autism/what-is-autism/
https://neuroclastic.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/UNDERSTANDING-THE-AUTISTIC-MIND-11.pdf