Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
My name is Barry and I have difficulties with social situations and a couple of other issues but there is no help that I am aware of in my locality.
I am 67, married for 45 years, and retired after working in finance in the civil service. As a child I only had a maximum of one friend at a time, while my siblings were gregarious and had no difficulties. After getting married at 20 yrs, my wife has been my sole friend and soul mate. We have two adult sons. At work I was able to satisfy all my socialising needs but was not able to take work relationships outside of the workplace and I avoided work socials where the easily understood rules of the workplace were relaxed. Since retiring I have been isolated apart from with my wife. It is not that I don't like people, quite the opposite, but I don't seem to be able to connect beyond pleasantries.
I tend to focus on interests, spending a lot of time researching in the area of my current favourite, looking around at other things but coming back to a favoured few.
I have had a reasonably successful career and happy life in most ways and do not consider myself to be strange or unusual. I completed an OU degree last year, graduating with first class honours.
Sorry for this download but at times I get quite desparate to figure out why my life experience is as it is. Does my situation make any sense to anyone?
Barry
Hi Barry. The final three paragraphs could have been written by me (except that I did a Masters degree at my local university). I'm 42 and I was diagnosed as autistic last year. My wife is my best friend, and there is a very small number of people in my life who I consider as friends. I have struggled to connect with so many people, and I now know that this is largely because I don't understand or appreciate the unwritten rules of a society that seems to value egos and random hierarchies over integrity and peace. Keep sharing with this community - we're your tribe!