New, neurodiverse, and maybe autistic

Hi all

My name is Dylan, I’m 39, live in London, and think I might be autistic.

I’ve been coming to the conclusion I’m autistic for a little while now. There’s some things I do that I’ve been told are autistic traits, but whenever I look into it I don’t feel I match the typical profile. But there are reasons for this. For example, I’m OK at making and keeping eye contact (I think) but that’s because I make a point of making sure I maintain it and it takes an active effort. I’m Ok in social situations, but that has taken a lot of work, and being ADHD (diagnosed) helps me to be able to keep up conversations, when the whole time I feel exhausted trying to make sure I’m not goofing off on tangents and making the other person feel that I’m paying them attention.

Whenever I take the online tests I get different results, some saying I’m not, others I am. But I find the questions vexing because the answers never relate to how I feel, and I’m often just guessing based on my feeling s that day. I’m so frustrated and would like to know I’m not just making a fool of myself.

I am neurodiverse, and diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and dyslexia, and almost certainly have dyspraxia (which I should be tested for shortly). I also have bipolar 2 and anxiety. I sometimes feel I must be faking it to have so many conditions, even though I’ve been officially diagnosed (feeling like a fraud is a constant problem for me).

I’m looking forward to chatting, hearing everyone’s stories, and getting to know you all.

best