New, neurodiverse, and maybe autistic

Hi all

My name is Dylan, I’m 39, live in London, and think I might be autistic.

I’ve been coming to the conclusion I’m autistic for a little while now. There’s some things I do that I’ve been told are autistic traits, but whenever I look into it I don’t feel I match the typical profile. But there are reasons for this. For example, I’m OK at making and keeping eye contact (I think) but that’s because I make a point of making sure I maintain it and it takes an active effort. I’m Ok in social situations, but that has taken a lot of work, and being ADHD (diagnosed) helps me to be able to keep up conversations, when the whole time I feel exhausted trying to make sure I’m not goofing off on tangents and making the other person feel that I’m paying them attention.

Whenever I take the online tests I get different results, some saying I’m not, others I am. But I find the questions vexing because the answers never relate to how I feel, and I’m often just guessing based on my feeling s that day. I’m so frustrated and would like to know I’m not just making a fool of myself.

I am neurodiverse, and diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and dyslexia, and almost certainly have dyspraxia (which I should be tested for shortly). I also have bipolar 2 and anxiety. I sometimes feel I must be faking it to have so many conditions, even though I’ve been officially diagnosed (feeling like a fraud is a constant problem for me).

I’m looking forward to chatting, hearing everyone’s stories, and getting to know you all.

best

  • Hi there, welcome to the neurodiverse community! Yes autism and ADHD and autism seem to go together a lot of the time. I have autism not sure about ADHD but I definitely meet most of the symptoms. Do stimulants like adderall help autistic people? 

  • Hi there Dylan, 

    Everything you've written makes perfect sense to me. My daughter is 19 and is waiting for an autism diagnosis (she was referred 6 months ago) and already has multiple diagnoses....ADHD, OCD, and cyclothymia has been mentioned. My 16 year old son has an ADHD diagnosis and has dyslexia traits, and is also awaiting an autism assessment. First thing, both my kids are sociable , doing really well at school and university and don't fit what people commonly think is the typical autistic profile, though my son has issues with eye contact but tends mainly to be when there's tension/conflict. It's all very subtle. 

    Regarding all the different conditions, it was really helpful for us when we saw our last psychiatrist and he said it's just one brain and tried to steer us away from thinking about it as multiple conditions - one brain with a range of symptoms of different strengths that are charatersic of a neurodivergent brain. We liked that. My daughter makes light of all her conditions now - she just focuses on what's necessary to help manage the symptoms - vigorous exercise, diet, good sleep patterns and therapy - and AVOIDING SOCIAL MEDIA. She also takes a lot of comfort in reading, listening to podcasts and youtube videos with people with these conditions, especially the OCD type symptoms she finds particularly stressful. 

    Oh also I don't have any diagnoses but I'm pretty certain I am autistic and ADHD! I would never ever have considered this two years ago but it's now obvious looking back at my childhood. I've not got OCD but I definitely have always had very mild OCD-y traits which I attribute to autistic side of me. 

    Anyway, I encourage my kids to embrace their quirkiness and these traits - they are really fun and interesting. They do have challenges of course but there's lots to help with these - all a work in progress. 

    One thing - we all have food sensitivities too and we're pretty sure that eating the wrong foods affect symptoms. Google food and autism - there's quite a lot of info. 

    Anyway, hope this helps a little and makes you feel less of a fraud. As I said, my lovely daughter now jokes about her extending list of conditions but we wouldn't want her any other way! Same for my son. 

    Charlotte xx