Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I am an adult who is very likely autistic. I am not yet diagnosed. But I do seem to have many autistic traits and I score highly on a wide variety of online tests for autism and alexithymia.
I've not yet taken the step of even asking for diagnosis. My thought on this is that the services for this are already stretched and I am not sure what I am going to achieve now by getting this. I am in my mid-50s and fairly well established at work (I am a software developer). So, I am not sure how much getting a diagnosis right now helps. I am certainly not sure how it would sit with my employer.
Alexithymia (an inability to identify and describe my emotions and connect physical sensations with them) is something which I particularly struggle with. I didn't previously know that I experience this, but recent family events have brought this to the fore.
My wife and one of my teenage sons are neuro-typical and can usually work around the confusion and difficulties I cause - up to a point. But my other teenage kid is autistic himself and my relationship with him is particularly difficult for the whole family because seeing eye-to-eye with him rarely happens.
I find it very difficult to talk to people - even online. In person, I tend to take a long time, trip over my words or say the wrong word and confuse or annoy people. This is a major hindrance to my personal relationships at all levels. It makes being effective and assertive very difficult for me.
I guess I interested in hearing from others in a similar situation, particularly another dad struggling with an autistic teenage child.
Best wishes to all
I'm in my 50's and was diagnosed last year.What I achieved from getting the diagnosis is a better understanding of who I am, why I am, validation and much more.From a work perspective, I'm also in IT and my diagbosis has given me security / rights as the past couple of years have been especially tough with me having to take a lot of time off sick. It is now getting to the point where HR are wanting/needing to take the company absence policy into account - something that could leave me out of work. It seems that they don't want to risk of discrimination, and so far the discussions have been amicable.
My wife and I believe that our 20 year old son could be autistic, but we aren't pushing him to do anyting about it. He is high functioning, has a very good job with a lot of responsibility, steady girlfriend of 7 years or so. We did notice some things when he was very young, but nothing came of that (in terms of seeking ASD assessment).I would say that we have a very good relationship, but there are many things that he does (or doesn't do, to be more precise) that grind my gears. But then, I guess that's pretty much par for the course with all tennage/20's kids that live with their parents!