Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I am an adult who is very likely autistic. I am not yet diagnosed. But I do seem to have many autistic traits and I score highly on a wide variety of online tests for autism and alexithymia.
I've not yet taken the step of even asking for diagnosis. My thought on this is that the services for this are already stretched and I am not sure what I am going to achieve now by getting this. I am in my mid-50s and fairly well established at work (I am a software developer). So, I am not sure how much getting a diagnosis right now helps. I am certainly not sure how it would sit with my employer.
Alexithymia (an inability to identify and describe my emotions and connect physical sensations with them) is something which I particularly struggle with. I didn't previously know that I experience this, but recent family events have brought this to the fore.
My wife and one of my teenage sons are neuro-typical and can usually work around the confusion and difficulties I cause - up to a point. But my other teenage kid is autistic himself and my relationship with him is particularly difficult for the whole family because seeing eye-to-eye with him rarely happens.
I find it very difficult to talk to people - even online. In person, I tend to take a long time, trip over my words or say the wrong word and confuse or annoy people. This is a major hindrance to my personal relationships at all levels. It makes being effective and assertive very difficult for me.
I guess I interested in hearing from others in a similar situation, particularly another dad struggling with an autistic teenage child.
Best wishes to all
Welcome to the community
I'm an autistic parent to an autistic child. She's now in her 40s and during her teenage years we really struggled with each other. (To the point where I would stay in my bedroom until she left the house!) I'm only aware of my autism because my daughter identified it in herself a few years ago, saw it in me and nudged me to question my whole life experience.
When I joined this community just under a year ago i had realised and mostly accepted that I was also autistic. In my case I had very strong imposter syndrome to contend with. After a lifetime of pretending to fit in (and I thought I was mostly managing) I paid for a private diagnosis - which is now part of my medical record. I'm really happy that I decided to be officially diagnosed. My daughter can now point to a family history of neuro divergence as we try to get my granddaughter identified. And as I get older (and possibly end up in a care home) my autism is officially recorded.
Rest assured - officially diagnosed or not you're very welcome here
Inula