Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya, this is my first time posting. I got my diognosis back in 2022 and I spent a good amount of time processing it. I mean alot of my life experiences became more understandable and I guess I kind of always knew somthing about me was different but I didn't even imagine I'd have a diognois. It wasn't until my two young sons we're both diognosied with autism that the penny dropped with myself.
I'm struggling alot recently with this feeling that I'm not fulfilling my duty as an adult, I know that this may come across strange but from such a young age its always drilled into us that we have to grow up, get married, have a job and a mortgage and all the typical things but I don't. And I feel by not having a job and a mortgage and marriage, that I don't fit in society even more than i already didnt. I've always struggled to hold down a job, I would get overwhelmed and burnt out and end up completely distraught and physicslly unwell which i now know my reason why. I left work after i had my son when i was 19 (8 years ago). It wasn't until I became a mum that I became my most authentic self. I never had a talent as such but being a mum was and is the best thing that's ever happened to me and the only thing I feel I'm good at. I wouldn't have anymore children, just a personal choice as both my boys have completely different needs and traits that take up alot of my time. My youngest came home before Christmas break and was telling me that some mummies work as well. I know he was just stating an observation but it made my anxiety kick in and I've spent weeks now thinking about it, how to I explain to my children why I don't do everything that neuro-typical mummies do. I have a really supportive partner and he's the best father to our boys. He constantly reassures me that my worth isn't dependent on a wage packet but by simply being me. I just can't seem to shake this feeling.
I was wondering if any other autistic adults felt the same as me?.
Thank you for reading
There are many neurotypical mums who also don't work. I don't have kids. I don't know how anyone can do both. I think it's easy for other people and ourselves to say "don't compare yourself to others...we live in a society that values money over all else" but in truth I struggle with the same thoughts every day about work (I work very very part time due to my health). I struggle with the imbalance between myself and my partner but he's very supportive. We all approach the world from different angles and different starting points. Some people are able to do it, others not so or they need more support. Im very much of the opinion that everyone tries their best every day with whatever they have or are on that day. Being a mum sounds like the best job in the world for you and your partner sounds absolutely wonderful.