Published on 12, July, 2020
I have posted here before. I am 35 male.
I spoke to my doctor and they said I should do an assessment for autism and they put me forward to a clinic. I did the autism assessment form with my mum. I filled in everything and totally packed out the extras page.
The clinic I was sent to has terrible reviews on how they say you're not autistic if you're chatty etc. they denied someone instantly for pulling out their chair for their wife.
Anyway I didn't hear off them so I rang the doctors and another doctor said my application was denied because I didn't give enough information. It honestly baffles me because I packed that page out. The doctor then said after talking to me I am too sociable to have autism, which annoyed me.
My uncle has autism and has never worked due to it and has a carer but is the most sociable person. At the time I was like ok but over time I feel more wound up.
It really disappointed me. I'm tired of being told that I don't need to be diagnosed or there's no cure for autism. I don't want to be cured but when I looked into it so so much made sense for me. Now I feel like I am a liar with anxiety that's my own fault due to not having perfect diet etc.
Getting diagnosed would have been like my brain had finally been pieced together and I could have guided through life knowing this.
I am considering paying over £2000 for a private assessment but if I do that to be told I just have anxiety I will be real stressed. I work full time but saving the money would be hard.
Has anyone else had experience like this or has advice?
Hi
I'm sorry you've had such a negative response to your attempts to get an assessment for your autism.
The bit about the doctor saying you're too sociable to be autistic is utterly ridiculous! I was married for 34 years (in fact my late husband enabled me to appear neurotypical as I just kind of coasted along on his coat tails!) And even though I'm now diagnosed I still get folks denying me because I can be sociable (fake and leaves me utterly exhausted)
I've realised that it's perfectly acceptable to self diagnose (as most of us do a very deep dive into the ins and outs of how autistic brains work and see ourselves reflected back) but having that official stamp of approval can be important - especially if (like me) you have imposter syndrome
I didn't go to my doctor because I thought that at my age (62) I would get laughed out of the surgery. My private assessment didn't cost anything like £2000 (and is now officially on my medical record) so be sure to look around.
Don't give up. Good luck
Inula
Hi inula,
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I definitely have imposter syndrome but I also think why am I so obsessed about proving I have ASD? If I was neruotypical I wouldn't be searching. Like I said before I actually don't mind if I have autism it's pretty cool. I just really want to be told I am. It would help me navigate life better.
Since I was 16 I have been the doctors at least 10 times for being confused about anxiety. I 100% know it's not a normal anxiety disorder. They always just offer anti depressants and beta blockers. I don't really have panic attacks it's just an unnatural obsessing over stuff. The doctors don't care they just want a quick in and out.
I have also paid for 2 psychologist's and had a NHS therapist over the years. They mainly just push what they're into onto you. Suc as tapping or CBT that does absolutely nothing. I really stuck with CBT as I despise hair cuts. It did nothing because if I am autistic that's how my brain works. I never told them I may be autistic because this is more recent realisation.
I feel your pain though. Even my dad says ... But if you are autistic there's no medicine for it. I don't care about that I enjoy that I can get deeper and more obsessive about subjects I like than a neruotypical person. It would vastly help with socialising as I burn out real hard sometimes. Most people in family and work are nice already though.
Thanks for listening it's nice to feel heard!
Just to add... There's an autistic group in my local area. The woman they have working there is autistic. She meets people for dog walks and coffee to talk about autism. Super cool idea and nice person... But surely that would make her wayyyy to social to be autistic by the doctors standards.