Hello fellow travellers, just need to know not alone

Wow, that is really great advice.  B is 17 and has gone through awful time. She has seen therapist but it was not right for her.  We are just beginning Bs journey within autism services so we hope this is more yzilored for her.

All I want is for B to choose her way looking at all her options.

You have helped me so much, keep looking at my posts i I have a lot to learn   H

Hi I'm a 22 year old autistic woman. I struggled with leaving the house and had intense anxiety at that age and wasn't very happy until I was around 21. My advice to you would be to educate yourself about autism so you can help your daughter, ask if she'd like to speak to a therapist and let go of all of the things you had hoped she'd do that you'd think would make her happy. I started being happy when I started living my life in a way that I'd enjoy and just being nice to myself. I was at university and couldn't go outside without having a panic attack it was horrific. Eventually I ran out of options I had to listen to myself and build up trust with myself. When you're undiagnosed autistic you push down all of your experiences because you're told they're wrong. The way you perceive the world isn't neurotypical, it isn't like other people so you're told to ignore it, try harder or in some cases you push it down so far your don't even recognize it yourself. This creates a lot of anxiety because on some level your body feels like your being attacked by a bear but your brain is ignoring it and pushing it down. It makes sense that you wouldn't want to go outside if you know a) you might be attacked by a bear and b) you're not going to recognize that and get yourself to safety. It'll take a while for her to believe her own experiences are valid and real and she deserves to do whatever she needs to to feel safe. And that might look like staying inside for a very long time and that's okay. 

Yes it really does help.  The difficulty is B hasnt really had a choice, but I hezr you and thank you.

Thanks so much for your reply. I will tell u more tomorrow,  must go to bed.  Night x

Hi

I’m new here but thought of sharing that I am 44 and do mot leave the house much too.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago and now things are making sense but on my side, it was always hard to understand why people enjoy going put so much and I never did.

I was able to feel a bit better when I was able to allow me to live under my own rules and not to fall on what I call “the should trap”.

It is a habit we all have of staying just inside the box and end up assuming that in such a diverse world we should be all getting levels of happiness or success measured by only one set of combined aspects.

After allowing myself to be a person that is fine and happier staying indoors I felt better but it brings issues, for sure, who has a life with no issues?

being in the spectrum just mean my issues are different.

hope it can be of help!

xx

Im an autistic, 16yr female.

Do you know why she doesnt leave the house much? For me it is often for one of two reasons: anxiety, or autistic inertia (when you have trouble starting or stopping tasks). I will ussually have mentally planned what I want to do after school, maybe read, do homework, arrange my stuff, etc, then when my mom randomly tells me we are going to like a church teen hangout, then I just dont want to go because I was in the middle of something else and Its also draining to have to socialise or be in a loud enviroment. Im more open to going somewhere if I know a few days ahead of time, its going to be with people am comfortable with, not crowded, low sensory input, and just if its something im interested in. 

Sleep dissruption could be due to the intrusive thoughts because when you are having a hard time mentally, you can tend to sleep and eat either too much or too little. It could also be because at night is often when we process the whole day, sometimes ill be asleep and then have to get out of bed at like 2am because I need to make sure my book is in the right spot, or to sort through my legos, or write an email to someone, just random stuff like that that probably seems like I could just do in the morning but I wont be able to sleep unless I get it done.

If she is open to doing thearopy maybe you could try that. It isnt for everyone though, I really didnt like thearopy every time I tried it. She may be having a hard time adjusting to her diagnosis, teenagers try to figure out who they are and a late-ish diagnosis probably isnt helping. My psychology teacher told my class that social isolation has the same health impact as smoking a pack of cigerettes each day. Considering she doesnt like leaving the house, I assume she doesnt interact with people much. My mental health was pretty bad last year, I still dont have many friends in real life (my sister has a couple friends her age ((9-10)) in our neighborhood and I hangout with them, dispite the age difference) but I have a really lovely time chatting on this forum. Everyone is really nice and I like how I can ramble without them being upset, we also speak our minds so I dont need to constantly try to predict the NT code :). If you would allow it, perhaps send her on here? I think she would enjoy it to find like minded people, and she could socialise without the anxiety of being in person.

Anyway I hope you figure everything out and that B gets better