Hello fellow travellers, just need to know not alone

Hi I'm a 22 year old autistic woman. I struggled with leaving the house and had intense anxiety at that age and wasn't very happy until I was around 21. My advice to you would be to educate yourself about autism so you can help your daughter, ask if she'd like to speak to a therapist and let go of all of the things you had hoped she'd do that you'd think would make her happy. I started being happy when I started living my life in a way that I'd enjoy and just being nice to myself. I was at university and couldn't go outside without having a panic attack it was horrific. Eventually I ran out of options I had to listen to myself and build up trust with myself. When you're undiagnosed autistic you push down all of your experiences because you're told they're wrong. The way you perceive the world isn't neurotypical, it isn't like other people so you're told to ignore it, try harder or in some cases you push it down so far your don't even recognize it yourself. This creates a lot of anxiety because on some level your body feels like your being attacked by a bear but your brain is ignoring it and pushing it down. It makes sense that you wouldn't want to go outside if you know a) you might be attacked by a bear and b) you're not going to recognize that and get yourself to safety. It'll take a while for her to believe her own experiences are valid and real and she deserves to do whatever she needs to to feel safe. And that might look like staying inside for a very long time and that's okay. 

Hi I'm a 22 year old autistic woman. I struggled with leaving the house and had intense anxiety at that age and wasn't very happy until I was around 21. My advice to you would be to educate yourself about autism so you can help your daughter, ask if she'd like to speak to a therapist and let go of all of the things you had hoped she'd do that you'd think would make her happy. I started being happy when I started living my life in a way that I'd enjoy and just being nice to myself. I was at university and couldn't go outside without having a panic attack it was horrific. Eventually I ran out of options I had to listen to myself and build up trust with myself. When you're undiagnosed autistic you push down all of your experiences because you're told they're wrong. The way you perceive the world isn't neurotypical, it isn't like other people so you're told to ignore it, try harder or in some cases you push it down so far your don't even recognize it yourself. This creates a lot of anxiety because on some level your body feels like your being attacked by a bear but your brain is ignoring it and pushing it down. It makes sense that you wouldn't want to go outside if you know a) you might be attacked by a bear and b) you're not going to recognize that and get yourself to safety. It'll take a while for her to believe her own experiences are valid and real and she deserves to do whatever she needs to to feel safe. And that might look like staying inside for a very long time and that's okay. 

Wow, that is really great advice.  B is 17 and has gone through awful time. She has seen therapist but it was not right for her.  We are just beginning Bs journey within autism services so we hope this is more yzilored for her.

All I want is for B to choose her way looking at all her options.

You have helped me so much, keep looking at my posts i I have a lot to learn   H