Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya! As the title said, I'm autistic and diagnosed last year and I really struggled in high school as I'm sure many neurodivergent people will understand and really I'm just looking to talk to people about their experiences with autism, how you guys make friends, and keep them (that's a big struggle for me the past couple years as my depression has been horrible due to the autism) and sensory issues. Anything really. I do feel pretty alone as in my day-to-day life I tend to stay in a lot I think because I feel its safe, and id love to know if someone else has this too. Thank you, I'm really looking forward to talking to someone.
I’m autistic and I had a hard time at school and didn’t have friends there. I do now though and when it comes to making friends it is actually very easy if you meet the right people- And for me that only happened when I went to university. The best friendships are those where you can be yourself. The challenge is actually meeting those people that you can easily become friends with- it can be hard at school but maybe you can meet some people through a shared interest? In terms of keeping friends, if they are good friends, it’s usually not difficult to keep them- with my friends there are no expectations for regular contact- it fluctuates- noone is offended if we do not reply or talk for weeks- there is no pressure, because my friends are mostly like me - we understand that sometimes we need downtime or are just overwhelmed or busy. I’ve stayed friends with people from university long after moving to different countries and cities. I think the key is that you have to meet the right people. In my experience if you have to mask a lot it won’t last and will become too exhausting. You are very capable of making and keeping friends, you don’t need to change how you are to achieve this. In terms of liking to stay in but still wanting to socialise sometimes, i really like phone calls or online socialising too (like playing boardgames online). I also like to go on walks with friends
good luck!
Ann :) said:when it comes to making friends it is actually very easy if you meet the right people- And for me that only happened when I went to university.
The key here is to make friends in an environment where the people are also looking to make friends.
Many people here try to make friends in situations where people already have their plates full with other things in life (a work colleague, someone they met in the pub, someone they sit beside on the train etc) and the other people may not be interested in reciprocating for a range of reasons.
Uni is a great environment where lots of people are starting their adult lives, exploring new subjects of study, exploring their sexuality (such fond memories :) ) and making new and interesting friends.
That level of openess drops off as the hard work of study commences then later on when work begins to slowly crush your spirit...
For adults it is a yet more difficult to find people in this zone, especially if they have some of the more awkward social traits that some of us have.
Special interest clubs remain possibly the best single source of finding friends I find, followed closely by dating apps for those able to mask well.
Iain said:For adults it is a yet more difficult to find people in this zone, especially if they have some of the more awkward social traits that some of us have.
So your advice is basically don't be old? :P
Iain said:Special interest clubs remain possibly the best single source of finding friends I find, followed closely by dating apps for those able to mask well.
Except of course that it's a lot harder to access these 'clubs' after uni.
Doremon? Overrated as an anime. Anyway screw that I built my entire identity in life up to this point in denying my age and acting in an age inappropriate way; I sure as hell don’t intend to stop now. Loll