Am I autistic?

• Hello everyone,

I am not diagnosed as autistic yet and I'm really scared of getting the diagnosis. I have been going to therapy for long time and for the last half year I was focusing more on myself, listening to my voice and on what I want instead of focusing on pleasing others or gaining acceptance. Since then I started to struggle in many areas of my life. Expressing myself feels harder than ever. Getting along with colleagues is hard and small talks don't make any sense. Recognising and controlling how I feel has always been hard for me. My sexual preferences are different than most people I've known which is something that I realized recently since I have always been focused on my partner more than myself. My communication style seems what they call "weird". My need for order and keeping everything in my house exactly the same or the big stress related to having a stranger in my house is creating tension with flatmate... I am becoming more of an introvert too and starting to feel like an "outsider". All these struggles started after I started listening to myself and my therapist recommended a diagnosis.. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it mentally or financially. My dear friend, who is on the autistic spectrum, advised me to join an autistic community since those struggles sound similar, and I really want to fit in somewhere and find people who can relate to my experience in some way.. I am so new here.. open for any advise. Do you think a diagnosis is important at this point of my journey?