Published on 12, July, 2020
Good evening,
I went to my GP last week and told him that I suspect that I'm on the spectrum. I've wondered for years but after watching Chris Pakham's TV show I thought that I should find out for sure.
Since I watched those two episodes, I've become somewhat obsessed with learning as much as I can about autism and keep coming across traits that I have, that are common in people on the spectrum.
The main traits that made me seek a diagnosis are:
Difficulty with eye contact with everyone except for my wife.
Social awkwardness and Difficulty making small talk unless I know the person well
Planning conversations ahead of a social event (often weeks before, over and over again). I also replay previous conversations in my head.
I have limited interests that I get obsessed with, entomology being the main one and professional wrestling and comedy being the longest lasting. It isn't enough to just watch wrestling and comedy, I delve deeply into why and how everything works. Same with music too, I can't just listen to it, I have to find out everything about the artist and if there's a song I like, I'll listen to it on repeat for weeksI'm very fussy with food, particularly certain textures. If you put a lasagne in front of me and told me that was my dinner, I'd look at it the same way as someone would react if you put a pile of poo in front of them. This has caused a lot of issues in my life, it's very restrictive and I have to completely avoid social events that take place in places that exclusvely do food that I don't like.
I often fiddle, finger tapping, picking and chewing the skin around my finger nails
I could carry on writing but I should probably leave it at that. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get a proper diagnosis because mental health services here in Guernsey are rubbish and I know that none of you can give a diagnosis but it would be great to have someone sort of confirm it and help me to stop ruminating before I have a meeting with the local autism charity at the end of the month.
I haven't told most of my family about this yet, my wife knows and so does my GP (who I happen to work with) I will "come out" if I can get a diagnosis. Part of the reason for seeking it is that I've recently had a promotion at work which will require more social interaction, which obviously could cause issues for me. I've already completely failed to show any compassion to a Imember of my team who fell and broke her wrist. I just couldn't figure out what to say to her.
Hello!
Welcome to the forum!
Yeah, you have described quite a lot of autistic traits there. None of us on here can actually 'confirm' it but it seems likely.
(I relate particularly to the last thing you said, about not knowing what to say to someone in a bad situation. )
Have you tried doing the online tests? AQ test: https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient
About the test: novopsych.com.au/.../
TLDR: The suggested cutoff is 29/50. At this threshold there is a very low false positive rate but the false negative rate is still quite high. So if you score above 29 you are very likely to be autistic, and if you score below 29 it's a bit inconclusive.
You are very welcome to 'self-diagnose' if you feel like you've done enough research (but you might need something official if you want more support/understanding at work). Getting an official assessment has its pros and cons. For me I think it was worth it to go through the process, but it very much depends on the person :)
Thank you for your reply.
I've done those questionnaires a few times and normally score about 30.
I work at a medical practice so I think they'd want a formal diagnosis rather than a self diagnosis. I know that I can pay for one but I'd rather not spend hundreds of pounds to do so.
I'm 95% sure that I am autistic but there is a niggling doubt.
I was the same, that I was pretty certain but still frequently doubted myself about it until it became 'official'. Getting a diagnosis might be good for your own peace of mind.
Did you research the waiting times at your closest NHS assessment centre? It varies from like 6 months in some places to several years in other places. A private assessment can be done much sooner usually.
30 means you are probably autistic. (Although it is ofc quite subjective and hard to know exactly how to interpret a lot of those questions so your score can change from time to time.)
I've found my score variable but I'd say that the average was 30.
We don't have the NHS here, I've found out that we do have local experts who can diagnose me. Fingers crossed that I can get seen soon.
The doubt is a silly thing really, since I've become more sure of my diagnosis, I keep identifying my autistic traits in real time. At this point, I'd be surprised if I'm not.
I went to a social event this afternoon, my boss is leaving next week and it was her leaving do. I found myself exhausted afterwards, I stayed about two hours longer than I wanted to because I couldn't bring myself to say bye to everyone. I walked home the long way, through some ornamental gardens and felt a sense of relief as I walked through and I could hear the birds etc.