Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
My name is Sarah and I'm 56 yrs old. No diagnosis but have spent my life feeling, like many others, that I'm not wired the same as other people and that I don't fit into the world.
I've talked to my GP a number of times over the years when I seem to be struggling more than others. I was told I have anxiety, yes I think I do, but there is so much more going on that I just can't find the right words for.
I read up on being Autistic a long time ago and a lot of it fit with with me. However since watching the wonderful programmes that Chris Packham presented over the last couple of weeks, my life was there in two one hour programmes, I wept, that finally this appeared to put into words that other would understand how my world is.
I asked my mum to watch it, so that she could understand how my life is day to day and that every day is a battle, but although she can see the similarities in me, I don' think she understands.
My hubby of almost 26 yrs, gets me, and since I have been able to put it into words a bit better is trying so hard to be more understanding.
I work in customer service in a telephone based role, but mainly work from home, with one day in the office a week. I can cope with that but team days with lots of noise are really difficult and I struggle to cope.
I suggested my team leader watch the TV programmes and she is now more aware of why I struggle and has been really supportive.
I'm not sure if pursuing a formal diagnosis will help? nothing will change? I feel better knowing that this is me.
Sorry very long garbled first posts. Taken a while to pluck up courage
But Hi everyone, looking forward to chatting with you and learning more.
Spam!
Oh Jay you are so brave. I'm so worried about approaching the GP for a referral as don't want to be told I'm being silly. As you say the glove fits, the penny dropped a long time ago and I have just suffered in silence for years with people thinking I'm stroppy, rude, miserable etc. Life is so hard
Hope all goes well with your continuing journey
Hi,
Welcome
I'm new here too. Kind of in a same boat as you. And burn out atm and allowing myself to recharge.
Waiting for a very long time for my referral (as you do with NHS) and was scared of "self diagnosis" this due to what people say, especially doctors, as I'm sensitive to criticism.
But when you know you know. The glove just fits, and the penny drops. I was always the weirdo kid and outsider, and being with others more like me, that understands me has made my life easier. Also family being supportive been a very positive experience.
Hello Sarah, thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up about personal experiences and feelings, and I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with feeling like they don't fit in or understand the world around them. It's great that you've been able to find some understanding and validation in the Chris Packham programs. It's also wonderful to hear that your husband and team leader are supportive and trying to understand your experiences.
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Hi Sarah.
Pleased to meet you
Hi SarahWelcome to the forum
First of all welcome! I am sure all understand where you are coming from, I know I do. I would definitely recommend you take the complete diagnosis, first of all: you have no idea how RELIEVED you are surprisingly going to feel (I felt like this when my parents and I were sure for about 2 years before we got the results).
While I have no doubt of your certainty of your self-diagnosis, I would like to be picky and remind you how misleading online research can be ESPECIALLY when it comes to medical, mental health or not. Everyone does that, so I do recommend again that you get the diagnosis. But hey, nothing is a hurry, right?
Hi Sarah, I'm Alice. Welcome to the gang. I'm glad you've found your place. It's a strange journey, but it's definitely the good kind of adventure (for me at least). People are always here for support when it's needed. I'm looking forward to getting to know you new friend
Hello Sarah, I am Number. You are very welcome here. I hope we will meet again in the threads - but in the meanwhile, I can thoroughly recommend reviewing old threads with the search on this site. It is horrible to use, but you will undoubtedly stumble over some interesting comments, observations and excitement within. Happy searching.
Hi Sarah, great to meet you! I'm a newbie too and my welcome has been amazing. I have decided to follow the diagnosis path so that people can't not believe me - it's a trigger. It will also help me at uni and work. I guess it's up to you really.
You’re welcome, I decided to ask for a referral to stop the imposter syndrome, if I have a theory on something, I suppose I like proof. There are quite a lot of people here who self identify. A diagnosis isn’t for everyone. I would suggest trying to process it all slowly, I made it a special interest and ended up in a year long burnout. Hope your shutdown improves, I find with age, I’m more able to steer a meltdown into a shutdown, meltdowns when I was younger were quite scary. There is a phrase sometimes used here of neurokin or neurotribe, I like both.
Hi Sarah, lovely to meet you. I'm pretty new here too, everyone here is so supportive and it really does feel like a tribe of like minded people who really understand what you mean and are going through. Looking forward to getting to know you
What a lovely way to put it, 'tribe' just to belong :-)
I've done the Autism Quotient test and scored 42 and then did the RAADS - R test scoring 153. I definitely have meltdowns and shutdowns, currently in shutdown, just want to be aware from everything.
I will think about the GP for a bit
Thank you Roy for replying.
Welcome, Sarah. Yes, what a great programme that was. Sounds like you have definitely found your tribe. Hope this place brings you support and comfort.
Hi and welcome, I’m Roy and 55 years old. My mother watched the Chris Packham programs, I most probably got a similar response to you, “ there can’t be anything wrong with one of my children!” My wife was a bit sceptical at the start of me recognising I’m autistic. That was 18 months ago. she now understands and sees why I sometimes do things that look a bit strange. The not wondering why you are different has made both of our lives a lot better. If you decide an assessment is what you want, then go for it. Don’t let the GP talk you down. I made a word document and listed how autism affects me and some of the things in life that went seriously wrong. It’s a friendly bunch here and is the only place I’m comfortable to ask questions, I find it’s only other autistic people who fully understand what it’s like.