Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I am new to the group and need some advice.
My son was diagnosed with Selective Mutism at the age of 14 yrs.
He struggled throughout his school years and bullied by his teachers.
He has been working 8 hrs a week in one of the major supermarkets for the last 5 years; but struggles.
After been bullied and humiliated by Manager's 18months ago and been off work for 6 months with work relative stress. I organised a meeting whereby a plan was put in to place so he felt he could go back and feel comfortable.
Unfortunately, the plan is no longer been initiated by the Supermarket therefore causing my son to be withdrawn and unable to go in to do his job.
I have arranged another meeting with his Managers on Thursday to discuss the problems.
I need your advice as my son struggles talking to customers, but enjoys filling shelves and rumbling.
What should I say to get my son back to work and happy?
Many thanks for reading my post .
If he is over 18 (assuming so if working for 5 years) could he do a night shift with fewer/ no customers (depending on the supermarkets opening hours.) I work in a supermarket doing an evening into night shift and have selective mutism. For the most part it doesn’t matter when I can’t talk. I find it ok to talk very basic stuff to customers. It’s other members of staff that I struggle to talk to but a few people know this and help. And there are people I am able to talk to. So maybe he needs a few trusted colleagues who can be understanding. Unfortunately my selective mutism was made worse recently by two colleagues that I trusted. So it’s very hard to find the right people.
I would say though supermarkets aren’t very autism or anxiety friendly places to work for. I mask my autism at work and it’s exhausting. Maybe look for a job that isn’t so customer focused.
Thank you for your message and I totally relate to it.
My son is 23 years his dad died five years ago from cancer which was horrendous. So I find it difficult to know what's best for him.
I like your ideas and will put it to him.
I have requested a meeting with his Managers for next Thursday.
Wish me luck
I'm sure your support really makes a difference. I agree with the other comment about supermarkets being a bit hectic for some people (well, they did;lt say that exactly... I am saying it lol). There is quite a good, short, book about autism in the workplace. I just looked up the author and here is her website: https://www.janinebooth.com/issues-and-campaigns/autism-workplace
The book has a picture of cogwheels on it, I can't remember the title but there is bound to be a link there.
Good luck. D
I’m sorry for your loss, it’s really hard to loose someone especially in times when you could use their opinion and support. You are being an amazing support, for your son, I hope the meeting goes well. Quote the equality act and the right for reasonable adjustments. Also if it’s a big chain supermarket your son should be able to access their policies online with regards to how they are supposed to be handling mental health issues. I had to do this for a colleague a few weeks back who was being mistreated due to their age. It actually worked out pretty well.
I’m also 23, so if he ever want to discuss his work with me via messages on here. Just let me know.
I’ve worked in supermarkets for 30 years at age 52 (not by choice) up to 2019 and I’ve known people with Autism there (long before my own diagnosis) who were bullied very badly and were eventually sacked by being falsely accused of theft in one case - the managers with the collusion of team leaders placed items and cash around his till, which the trade Union shop stewards backed up managers on, because of “partnership agreements” and they clearly wanted to get rid of him because of his “mental health issues” and “behavioural issues” - I’ve suffered no end of workplace bullying in all the supermarkets I’ve ever worked for and when I’ve tried to do anything about it, I got nowhere - and if anything they can take legal action against you for making “false” claims of bullying while they deny its going on, as it’s always been that way and always will be - even it does get to tribunal or court even the defence on your side turns against you and it’s the same outcome, you always lose - he’s young so it’s best to get out now and find something more suitable while he still can