Published on 12, July, 2020
Ok. Where to start here. We've just had a formal diagnosis today that our son Ethan is autistic. We were expecting it as he's non verbal but it's still hit us a little emotionally.
We've come on here to try and find out "what happens next" and how we can help Ethan. Neither of us have experienced autism in our families before so have no previous knowledge to draw on. Speech and Language are involved but are there resources he/we can access to try and progress this?
And any nappy training tips for someone that doesn't find being wet (or worse) would be greatly appreciated.
We're Doncaster based. We're just trying to get our son the best start we can give him.
A lot will depend on age ie if diagnosed early is lot easier than being diagnosed late..so let's say early is a walk in the park compared to late is like a climb up a mountain in terms of what you'll have to face as a family. If before age of say 12 or even 14 maybe later depends but its all about there adaptability and openess to trying things. Ie its good to try to set in place tools to help your child navigate what will later be a struggle for them. If you can and if early enough on I strongly recommend some kind of psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever is closest to his particular needs and pit the extra time and effort in as it will help your child tennfold in later life. My son diagnosed too late never got help etc and now has too many troubles too mention and it's a sad tale tbh...but if I could turn clock back and he'd have been diagnosed in infancy I would've been on it pronto. By the way don't get any kind of help that encourages "masking" ie you want more flexibilities in the tools they will learn ie developing confidence in that is great to be them and be different etc and explain about aspbergers let them get to know and understand themselves etc etc.There are a lot of group organised events where kids with aspbergers can be together ie it must be nice to be with people you can relate to instead of feeling like the odd one out. Also you will know doubt over time yourself through one source or another find information about aspbergers and learn as when you love your children there is no barrier to what you can do to try make life better for them. You have access to you tube which is real people talking as you do here..sources like that are good in broadening your understanding. Also it sounds daft but improving your own relationship with your son is good as you will be the first port of call for everything..ie learn the subtleties of how your child is ie if they happy sad which isn't always obvious ie as once you have met one person with autism you have met one person with autism.Take the extra time to be with your child and listen etc go that extra mile.
Doncaster will have autism groups that you can join. Depending on which area of Doncaster you live in there will also be triages in our libraries e.g. Conisbrough/Town Moor etc etc. You can find which libraries have these by contacting Doncaster Council. Ask at these areas how you can access autism support groups and/or any child based activities. Whoever diagnosed your son should give you advice on what is available in the local area and as I do not know the age of your son do not know which educational establishments you may already be accessing. If in school seek an echp. Doncaster Council have SMILE which will help with activities and the ASCETS team provide parental workshops that will help you. Phone 0753645592 or contact das@doncastercarers.org.uk or if you are on Facebook search for Doncaster Autism Services.Doncaster also has a continence service for children aged 4-19. as well as a long term continence team. It may be best for you to go online to doncaster.gov.uk and search for the local offer for Health and Social Care. Please remember that our autism makes us vulnerable so sharing of your child's details is best done through the Doncaster services. You are blessed to live in an area where there is a greater wealth of autism support than in some other areas of the country. Ask questions of those who diagnose and request that they signpost you to support. Remember also that you can go to your GP and ask to be signposted to support for your son/parental support for you and information about local groups. If you want to travel outside of your area Sheffield is a good place to find autism support groups. I wish you well in your search. Most of all please remember that the road forward may at times seem hard. In those hard times remember the wealth of positives that autism also brings and that for your son his journey stated with being born into a family that will love and keep him safe forever. For you this may be the start of your autism journey. For your son he is blessed with you. Take care. There is support our there in the Doncaster services and community.
Just a couple of safeguarding points- you really shouldn't post your son's date of birth on a public forum. And also in the forum the rules state not to use pictures of real people in your profile. I don't post pictures of my kids anywhere online as anyone can copy them and reuse them for whatever they want.
There is a whole wealth of information available online from autistic people which would help you get a good understanding. I recommend this lady on YouTube:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAoYMFsyj_k1ApNj_QUkNgKC1R5F9bVHs
She helped me a lot when I first started my journey of discovery and all her videos are in manageable sized chunks.
Click more and then delete.
Apologies. Seems I've duplicated this post. Advice on how to remove the duplicate would be appreciated too!