Published on 12, July, 2020
Has anyone any experience of getting a puppy and child struggling!! My daughters 11 we did have a dog when she was younger who she was fine with but sadly we had to have her put to sleep as she was old. My daughter then developed a fear over the years of dogs, we have no idea where this came from. She did get slightly better and was ok with a neighbours dog and has been asking for a puppy for a while but I discouraged it knowing what a commitment they are and not knowing how she’d be but eventually we agreed to get one, we decided on a shih tzu as that’s what our neighbour has, and they’re not too big. Once home initial my daughter was fine but a day in she got really overwhelmed and stressed by the dog saying she felt scared but when I mentioned taking her back to the breeder she got really upset saying no, things got better the following day and her confidence grow and she seemed a lot better, then today the dog barked when playing (not loudly) but it really upset her and we’re back to square one. Everytime I suggest returning the dog she adamant that she wants to keep her and gets upset. Has anyone had a similar experience? I don’t want to return the puppy but obviously I don’t want my daughter feeling stressed all the time so will return her if need be, we got her from a good breeder so will understand. We are only 4 days in.
When my son's cat died it was a very hard experience. I am autistic and when the new cats were brought into the home I feared that they would also leave us. Animals can sense our fear. Anxiety is different for me because I am neurodiverse and both feel and express that in a way that neurotypicals do not understand. I do not know if it is the same for you,your daughter and your dog. For me, my son explained the things the cat did, bought the cat a tracker and showed me he knew where the cat was going to make me feel less fearful of loss. He still tells me- the cat is doing this because of this so that I do not worry about the cat. I do not need this explanation. I am very high functioning. However, it helps me calm my fear whenever there is that moment that catches me unaware and I think that the cat isn't coming back. Having autism for me means that I cannot experience time. I understand the concept of time but I need a visual reminder to know that years or days or minutes have gone . I do not know how 62 years have crept upon me in a living way,not just the way that neurotypicals will ask where the time has gone As has already been said - very complex situation that you have . Whatever you do I hope that your daughter experiences the love that animals give us and that you find a way forward for both the dog and your daughter to benefit from this awesome love. Sometimes not keeping the dog is the right answer. Sometimes compartmentalizing experience is a forward answer. I wish you all the best choices in the world to work through this difficult experience.
NAS51275 said:Having autism for me means that I cannot experience time. I understand the concept of time but
NAS51275 said:I do not know how 62 years have crept upon me in a living way,not just the way that neurotypicals will ask where the time has gone
Fascinating ! This topic has popped up elsewhere in a chat with "Snowman." Until that moment, I didn't realise it was a "thing" for some autistics. Thank you for mentioning that you also have a different time perception.