Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I'm a 47 year old male and was diagnosed with autism in May of this year after struggling all my life with depression and anxiety. I've always felt 'different' and 'odd' and it explains a lot. For over a decade running (especially trail running, where I'm usually totally alone for hours) has helped me cope.
Initially my diagnosis was a relief as it explained a lot about my issues but longer term it's left me feeling quite conflicted as I've always pushed myself to be 'social' and not to give in to my anxieties. Now I find myself in a position where I struggle not to use it as an excuse and it's also knocked my confidence (even in my ability to run).
I just wondered what experiences others have had after receiving a diagnosis as an adult, especially as I've had no support/advice since receiving my diagnosis.
It's okay to feel crap for a while, too. Your brain is processing all this huge stuff about who you are and that's going to take up space and emotional resources. Think of it like a laptop with too many programs running at once. Everything slows down because of the background processes.
I was talking to my therapist about my recent grief, and I said "I've given myself permission to be useless for a while," and he said that was perfectly valid under the circumstances. Let yourself have some down time if you need it. Work out what your individual needs are and what strategies you can use to support them. You will adapt, but the thing about being autistic is it takes longer to get used to the change.